When I say...

When I say I'm giving up on loving you I'm not saying I don't love you any less.
I'm saying that I have to give more than just love. I have to give you my respect, my trust, my commitment, my honesty, my humility, my joy and my pain.
I'm saying that I understand the pain I have caused and the pain that you feel because I am feeling it too.
I'm saying that the thought of losing you is unimaginable but yet I understand why your heart can't take it. I am saying that Im begging for the chance to make it right but I understand if you can't stay. I'm saying that you hurt me too but that I forgive you, I do.

I'm saying that I don't want a life without you but without life I can't live in the memory of loving you.

I'm saying that I can walk away but I'm pleading for you to let me stay.
See what I'm really trying to say is that I'm not giving up on loving you, I'm giving up on the thought of loving you the way I did before. The way I loved you before wasn't good enough because it hurt you, bruised your ego and destroyed what we thought we had. I'm saying that I'm going to love you better, stronger, and deeper. I am going to love you like I never loved before. I'm going to love you like my whole future depends on it. I'm going to love you like you never imagined but always needed me to love you. I'm not giving up on loving you, I'm just giving up on how I loved you before- because I realize that Love is earned not given and Love is sacrifice not neglect. Love is long suffering not misleading. Love is forgiving not vengeful. Love is not just in me but it survives in You.
Love never gives up but its timeless.

I realize that in my heart I only have room to love You.

So with this I pray that even in our silence and even with the passing of the days I will be longing to love you.  I'm not giving up on loving you. I'm just allowing myself to give you the intimate love I never knew I had the capacity to have until now- if you let me. Let me love You the way you have loved Me...

No More

No More

No good morning kiss

No goodnight miss

No wonder im feeling so blue

No how are you beautiful

No I miss you baby

Im feeling some kind of way about us

No early morning calls

No late night chats

Im praying for one night with just you

No plans for a date

No calls to take

I wish I didn’t make those mistakes

No coming home to me

No visits in my dreams

Im definitely missing you now

No text messages to my phone

No emails to retrieve

Im feeling your distance even more

No time to chill

No weekend frills

I’m longing for your sweet tender touch

No trust between us

No ways to make up

Im regretting the day I hurt you

No future to plan

No wishes or hopes to share

I know I have to let you go now

No way to repair

No feelings left to share

Your love for me you can no longer bear

© copyright 2012-11-17 15:47:48 - All Rights Reserved

Art of Noise: Moments in Love

you can't help but get engulfed in this song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl1FnycngW8

Losing Life vs Losing Love

torn open.
insides gushing.
matter spitting out.
decaying waste.
organs shut down.
heart bleeding inside out.
the smell is rank.
the blood stops flowing.
pressure is weak.
pulse is irregular.
timing is short.
dismal fate.
lose of consciousness.
fading quickly.
breathing irratic.
body useless.
uncontrollable shaking.
dry tears.
flashing lights.
tunnel memories.
broken dreams.
ended futures.
life alert.
beep.....................................

torn apart.
insides turned completely out.
matter of fact nothing.
decaying promises.
feelings shut down.
heart bleeding for one more chance.
the bullshit is rank.
the blood rushes to your head.
pressure is overwhelming.
pulse is in overdrive.
timing comes to a halt.
losing faith.
loss of trust.
fading dreams.
thinking irratic.
body lusting.
uncontrollable crying.
dry emotions.
flashing thoughts.
tunnel vision.
broken hearts.
ending drama.
reality check.
regret.....................................

Dear Diary- What Goes Up Must Go Down!

I was on an emotional high the last couple days with hopes and dreams of being able to finally complete my happiness and then BOOM! it all got rocked over something so simple.

I spoke of forgiveness the other day and now I am speaking of repenting. When you repent of an action you not only forgive yourself, but you try your hardest not to repeat the wrong you did.
I FUCKED up! I did something that hurt someone I truly love and I am completely and totally aware that what I did was wrong but I also heard "I forgive you" and I thought that was the road to redemption. Man, was I wrong. When you TRULY forgive someone you do not continue to look at everything under a microscope to find fault or to find reasons to use the bad deed against the person. You truly allow yourself to see their efforts so that you can move on. Forgiveness tells the person at fault that you want to believe in them, you have faith in their power to repent and that you acknowledge that they are truly sorry for their actions. When you forgive someone you are also saying to yourself that you are willing to give the other person a honest chance and that you yourself have the capability to do so. If you can NOT give the person a honest chance and if you can NOT find it within yourself to be able to do so then you should move on, because in the end you not only hurt yourself but you also in turn hurt the other person even to the point of hate.

Repenting in the Bible allows for God to forgive your sins and wipe your slate clean in order to entrust his love and holy spirit into you. Humans must be able to do the same thing, when they claim forgiveness.

People have hurt me in my past, all my life but who hasn't been hurt. However, I know the power of forgiveness because I have been truly forgiven before. I also know that the power of forgiveness is also in forgiving yourself for your own wrong doings and sometimes even for your actions that played a part in the wrong doing.

I hate to say it but some people never learn what forgiving others means and thus forgiving themselves.
For many years I couldn't forgive myself for my actions because I felt I deserved the hand I was dealt and thus an excuse to do the things I was doing but until I looked deep within me and forgave others was I truly able to forgive myself and heal from the pain and disappointments.

I decided that I am going to go back to counseling because their are still some things I need to work on- doesn't everybody! I am mature enough and sane enough to know when I need some guidance. I also know that I need spiritual guidance as well to reach my full potential. I thought I was there but I know now I'm not quite there- yet.

Until next time...

Her Heart by Anthony Hamilton lyrics

What a powerful song! It actually made me cry thinking about all my struggles and the road I have been on all my life. I have finally become the woman I need to be and all I need now is to spend my life loving that special someone who loves me just as deeply as I love them.

I had a habit of messing up
staying out late and getting drunk
I let you down a thousand times broken promises
It's like I ran away from you
my career was my excuse
Until I saw you
about to drown in your own tears

And as you cried in my arms
you woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
'Cause her heart her heart won't let me lose her
No matter how I try I just can't say goodbye and lose her

When all the folks were said and done
You were there to welcome me home
I was convicted 'cause your love never wavered
I know you love me more than me
and you vowed to love through anything
I never had a kind of love that was forever

And as you cried in my arms you woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
'Cause her love her love won't let me lose her
No matter how I try I just can't say goodbye and lose her

'Cause her heart her heart won't let me lose her
No matter how hard I try I just can't say goodbye and lose her
No matter how hard I try I just can't say goodbye and lose her
No matter how I try I just can't say goodbye and lose her

Category:

Music

License:

Standard YouTube License

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7Rh1z_ScNw

Why Would You Stay lyrics by Kem

Such a beautiful song!
Dedicated to Andre

There's a light shining on you.
And baby I'm trembling inside.
Loved a woman that I barely knew,
I must've been outta mind.

Ohhh I
I ll never hurt you again
Girl I
I know you deserve a better man
Hey I
I was a fool to ever let you down
So why would you stay?

Woman I beg your forgiveness
And I'll do whatever it takes
And may the Lord be my witness
Honey I never meant to treat you this way
Sugar your heart has been broken
But I could still see true love shine in your eyes
When every word has been spoken
Woman I'll love you for the rest of my life

Ohhh I
I ll never hurt you again
Girl I
I know you deserve a better man
Hey I
I was a fool to ever let you down
So why would you stay?

Oh baby
Don't know why, why you would stay
Baby
Baby
You're my baby
Hey girl

Yeahhhh I
I ll never hurt you again
Girl I
I know you deserve a better man
Girl IIIIIIIIIII
I was a fool to ever let you down
But I want you to staaaaay
Girl I
I'll never hurt you again
Baby
I know you deserve a better man
Girl I
Girl I
I was a fool to ever let you down
But I want yooooou... to stay.

Category:

Music

License:

Standard YouTube License

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dNRG8OIzxA&noredirect=1

• 3,454 likes, 34 dislikes
• Artist: Kem