Hearts Havoc

Never again will I fall for hearts deception

it’s retched and misleading And full of disaster.
Its longevity false
It tears you apart and leaves you torn and tattered.
It leads you astray and forever changing.
Are the ones who will destroy you as the heart bows and boast.
But in between the distance comes mistrust and destruction.
while your mind is clouded by its true means.
It’s devoid of life and future expectations.
Yet the working of the heart steals joy and wreaks havoc on all who possess it.
It’s mute and retarded by emotions.
Mind over heart, I say because the mind thinks of consequences and sacrifices
While the heart knows no boundaries outside of pain.
Knowing damn well it will only bring us to our knees and destroy us one molecule at a time.
It’s useless but so vulnerable at times when we need it most.
Tear it out, rip apart, throw it away and then try to exhale....
Only to find that without it you can't function, think or move.
You’re frozen in time, devoid of all feelings. 
You’re wasting away looking for a meaning
It’s a lifesaver of all that’s peaceful
We abuse it, misuse it, and kill its emotions out of fear and misconceptions.
We are our own hearts enemy leading the blind with the guiltless destroying hearts true treasure- love.

Its fall is hard

The heart is treacherous and so revealing

The people who claim they love you the most

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder

The heart is needed to pump drama through your veins

Take away your heart and the world is chaotic, murderous and troubling

It is never read right and unable to express itself.

The heart destroys our hopes, dreams, and futures

 but yet we still crave it, long for it and seek to please it every day.

We want what we can't have

yet we continue to fall for its tricks each time

in hopes of finding hearts true demon- love.

We pray for love to heal all

between the hurt and pain

and it’s you the whole time scared and ruining its true function and purpose.

but we care for it like we care for someone else’s possession

not fully grasping its intentions or power.

© copyright 2012-12-18 13:24:53 - All Rights Reserved

Friend Indeed

Thinking of you is like a breath of fresh air
As I think about you and the time that we share.

Your comfort and support means the world to me
And I'm thankful and grateful and with my actions you'll see.

Through disappointment and heartache you have constantly been there
No judgments or accusations, your friendship laid bare.

You promise something better as you look in my eyes
And even though it scares me Im not really surprised.

You have proven to be a real healer even though my heart bleeds
And with that I can open up and let my hopes take the lead.

My heart is broken and yet I know it will heal
With you in my corner I have no choice but to let faith be revealed.

I cant let go of that special place reserved just for him
But he let go and its open to let trust flow back in.

I have no idea where this all will lead
But I'm grateful for you, your the true friend I prayed for and so desperately need.

Quote by Christina Branch

Is it love that make us sad and fills our hearts with sorrow? Or is it the lover you love that breaks your heart and makes you dread tomorrow?

Dear Love (deep)

Dear Love

© Writingwhitewords

See There Was A Tear Rolling Down My Face As I Began To Write This
So I Closed My Eyelids & Let It Fall
Because If Love Is Blind Then This Feelings Sightless
And Me .. I Feel Nightless Dayless Restless Because Of This Hatred
& I Don't Mean Emotionally
I Mean What I feel When You're Not Close To Me
Because Today We're Barely Even Speaking
& It Feels Like Just Yesterday
You Were Lying Restlessly In My Arms
Like .. You Had Something To loose If You Moved
& Today I'm Here Alone Hating It
& Your Voice Like Air Whispering Between The Cracks
" I Love You "
" I Love You Back "
But Everything Seemed To Fall Just Like That
I Cried Twice
You Held Me Like Grudges
So long & Hard
I felt So Much Love Cutting Beneath my Skin
It Was Enough to Leave Me Permanently Scarred
You Are The Love I Never Been Able To Personify , But Only Touch Feel & See From A Distance
You Are The Time ; The Seconds The Minutes The Hours Within Me
& I Never Felt This Way Before
So Broken So Empty ; So Whole , Then So Half Of A Person ..
So While You Were Sleeping Last night I Wrote a Letter To This Love
& It Went
Dear Love, You Brought Me Something No one Could Ever Bring Me ; You Brought Me Lust, Hope, & Faith ; But At The Same Time You Manage To Leave Me Empty , Ever Since She Walked Away She Took My Sun With Her And The Very Next Day My Clouds Are Grey . My insides Are as Blue As A Warm Day ; Yet So Sad & Filled With Gloom & Love I Hate Personification ; But If You Could Feel This You'd Wanna Rip Your Insides Away From Your Feelings ; You'd Wanna Hold on To The Little Bit Of Strength You Have Holding You Together ; And Pray That your Not The Vail that Breaks , .. It Feels Like She Tore Open My Chest Ripped Out My Heart & Walked Away & This Depressing Moment Was Unknown .. So Please Love .. For Now On .. Just Leave Me Alone .

Hoping for You

Thinking of you

And wishing for your happiness

Not understanding why

Your happiness wasn’t found in me

Was my heart not deep enough

Were my emotions not clear enough

Did I miscommunicate my intentions

Or were you just not paying attention

I’m missing what we shared when we were together

In tune with each other

Caressing each other’s egos

And complimenting one another

I don’t understand why

You can’t see how much you mean to me

Nor can I understand why you couldn’t see me

Or why you couldn’t picture the life we could have had

I’m holding on to the piece of my heart that is yours

Despite everything you were my first

And most likely my last

Wishing you could just see it for what it was

I don’t get it

Why are we apart

Why can’t we get it right

What is it about me that keeps you running

I am always drawn to you

Your voice, your touch, your presence

Missing all the things that make us wonderful

I’m missing us

I just can’t believe

That you and I are no longer

When we are so good for one another

It’s too hard to grasp and I don’t want to

I’m missing all that we are

Others can see it

We know it

But we just can’t get it right

I’ll hold you dear to my heart

Because you own it without even trying

I’m here waiting

Wishing on a star that’s too far away

Thinking of you

And hoping your finding your happiness

Knowing you will never have it completely

Because I am it and you’re not here to see it

Was my heart not deep enough

Were my emotions not clear enough

Did I miscommunicate my intentions

Or were you just too scared to accept it

© copyright 2012-12-17 15:09:12 - All Rights Reserved

Dear Diary- The Blame Game

Unfortunately, I learned as a child that people will blame you and divert responsibility to avoid their own actions and view of themselves.  Ever since then, I have always hated the "blame game." I can own up to my own failures, faults, and wrongdoings, but I can't and won't ever take responsibility for someone else's, no matter how much I love them.
When you have people that you love and trust who you expose your innermost self to and they still can't do so in return, it starts to become a mute point, useless and eventually painstaking but yet, we will find a place to forgive them of their wrongs and we try to move on- with them. But to what degree do we keep letting them get away with blaming you when they fail to look in the mirror at themselves?

Scenario: I needed to talk to someone I love more than anything about my fears and my insecurities. My fears and insecurities could have been rectified if the person I was talking to would have listened and helped me with those fears and insecurities...That was what I was looking for anyway... But it turned into something completely off the subject- Me and turned into the blame game, which had nothing to do with my feelings but it had everything to do with theirs. My feelings were never addressed and at the end it was clear. They have their own fears and insecurities which won't allow them to do what I was scared to do but yet it was made to seem as if I was the reason for their own wrong. What started off as a call for help turned into an ugly misguided point of fingers. And the funny things is they don't get where they were wrong in the whole situation and discarded me and my feelings but yet I bet I'm the only one feeling the loss, anger, and disappointment.

The point: No matter how honest you can be with yourself and others and no matter how much of the true blame you can take for a situation, if the other person is not willing to look in the mirror at themselves and see that they need to take the blame for something and responsibility for the results of their actions, the blame game will continue unless...Unless someone decides that the game is over. For me I can't keep taking the beating of being blamed for everything and I won't allow someone to keep making me the subject of the blame game- no matter how much I love them. You shouldn't either.

It all comes down to this: Look in the mirror before you stand behind anothers.

Dear Diary- Love is Forgiving

I learned this last weekend how forgiving love can be. I have experienced it before but this past weekend really opened my eyes to the true power of love.
When you love someone so deeply that you can forgive them and can continue to love them is a love that can't be destroyed by trivial things. That love is genuine and real.
We have this kind of love with our children, family, friends but its oh so sweet when you find this love in someone that you are romantically in love with.
Over the years, I have learned to forgive a lot of people in my life and I too have been forgiven for a lot of wrongdoing and I am so grateful that I was able to be the bearer of both forms.
I feel as if I an finally move forward at this point in my life because the forgiveness I needed for a long time, finally came and I know that no matter what the result is I am going to be okay. I have the go ahead to correct my wrongs and prove my self- because I want to and not because I am obligated or being made to. The power of love and the blessing of forgiveness did that for me this past weekend. I am still growing and I am still evolving but I have a plan and a clear path.

Love is Forgiving...