That Moment

That moment when you can feel their presence even before they enter the room
That moment when the butterflies start flying around when you know their on the way
That moment when time stops when your eyes meet each other
That moment when no one else matters but the one your with
That moment when you wake up and their the first person on your mind
That moment when your so damn horny at the thought of feeling them touch you again
That moment when you realize that it's you and them against the world
That moment when you can't stop thinking about them even when your busy with your own life
That moment when you go to bed and you can't fall asleep without them
That moment when you can't see your life without them in it
That moment where every plan you make includes the one you dream about
That moment when you make their happiness your top priority
That moment when you hear their name and you instantly start blushing
That moment when you realize that all you have been feeling and more means you have fallen in love

The Rain

The rain falls hitting my window pane
Thump, thump
Splatter, thump
Waking me from my dream
Making me disillusioned

The sounds are reflective
Of the pain and hurt inside
As the tears begin to fall
Drip, drop
Drop, drip

I look up into the sky and wonder why
Why I feel so lonely inside
Even with you by my side

Trying to focus I pull the cover over my head
Still hearing the rain above my bed
Swish, swish
As I look over and imagine you holding me close instead
But no avail I'm wet, crying out for you
Trying not to let the storm outside cloud my head
As the rain gets harder and I can't seem to escape the sound of the pitter, patter in my heart...

Trying to fall back to sleep as the rain suddenly calms
Getting silent 
hearing my heart beat louder
Thump, thump

I turn over to stop the beating in my head
As I roll over into a puddle of.tears
Nowhere to move but within my fears

Crying through the rain
Drowning out the beauty
Of what used to be a comfort

The rain falling on my window pane
Simple, serene
Tap, tapping
Calling my name
Soothing my mind
Waking me up from the demons swimming through my mind

I relax and reflect on his face
Smiling at the memory of that symphony we made
Love making through the rain

Escape... Random

Love is my only escape from the craziness of this world... I want to fall in love with loving someone who is in love with who I am inside and out. I want to bask in the glory of your presence and blush everytime I hear your name... I want to escape to the boundary of you heart and fall madly in love with us... Love is my ultimate escape.

As We Lay

As We Lay

 

As we lay down in the darkness

I can’t help but hear the rhythm

That beats with each beat of your heart

 

I try to record it in my mind

So that I can refer to it again

When you are gone

 

Reality sets in as I watch you

Quiet and reserved

Staring up into the heavens

Trying to find the answers

As my mind is trying to find ways

To help you find that escape

 

I can’t help but be selfish

As I think of not seeing you

Touching you

Feeling the scruffiness of your face

Between my fingers

Or blushing at your crooked smile

That always warms me inside

 

I know your aching, scared

Wishing on the stars you can’t seem to find

But I’m here

Loving you

Wanting to be your refuge from the darkness

The light for your shelter

The haven for your thoughts

 

Not knowing what is to come

We both laid in silence

Facing away from each other

Chests pounding

Wanting to touch each other

But scared it may be the last time

Wanting to let go and be one

But knowing that one day

One day soon

We may be separated by chains

That imprisons our hearts against our will

Feeling innocent, helpless

Totally taken over

By the worlds curses

And punishments

 

We can’t let go just yet

As something in both of us

Force our bodies to interact

Embrace and nurture each other’s cravings

Only wanting and desiring each other

 

In this moment of desperation

Not sure of what’s to come

Anticipation killing the romance

But the intimacy is so strong

We can’t resist

Slowly I come to you

Kissing your back

Massaging your pains

Licking your stress

Stroking your pride until it rises

To my touch

 

We can’t help

But make love

Because fucking is not an option

When our love is so deep

So strong

So intense

That it’s the tie that binds us together right now

Pushing away the inevitable

 

You enter me

Taking me in your arms

Wrapping my legs around you tightly

Gliding in and out of me

With the motion

Only designed for passion

Full of emotion

My sweet submissiveness

To the power you have over my heart

My mind

And my body

 

Realizing in this brief moment

How much I love you

Able to tell you so

As if it might be my last chance

Waiting for you to reply

But your moans and kisses

Are enough answer

To let me know

You love me to

Actions indeed speak

Louder than words

 

As we cum together

We lay there

Surrounded by the ocean of fear

Drowning in the lake of my love for you

Not knowing if and when

We will have this moment again

As we lay here in the darkness

Waiting

Praying

Loving one another

Surrender…

 

--
Your Friend,

Tiffany

www.frecklesofsunshine.blogspot.com

Beastly

Trying to understand
The reason behind it all
The lies. Deception. Blatant disrespect.
Not wanting to see the truth.

Remembering all we had
Knowing all we said
Feeling all that made it real
Not able to see it clearly

Loving someone that never loved you
Wondering if any of it was real
Unable to breathe
Can't eat
Totally consumed with utter disbelief

Trying to grasp what it could have been
Only to admit you should have taken heed
To all the warnings and the signs
The claims that proved they could never be yours

Only to give them an excuse they would take
To hurt you
Abandon you
And give reason to partake
In foolery for something
Not equal to the mistake you made

Wishing you could go back
Run away from what you knew would go nowhere
Only to bask in the glory of your affection
Even if it means falling victim again
Stupid, naive, foolish, caught unaware

Giving your all
Getting less then half in return
Only to be shot down
Diminished
For a moment of recklessness
Not looking like it seemed
Totally devoted to the thought of only wanting them

Hating yourself for falling
For someone who was off limits
Waiting for the opportunity to flee
Willing to do anything
To prevent the inevitable
Walking on broken glass

Only to be broken in half
By someone who is not even whole
Undeserving of what you offer
Yet you thought maybe your love
Would be different
Healing
Powerful

Only to find out that
All your efforts
Your waiting
Your tears
Meant nothing to the beast
That can not feel

The monster inside
That refuses to see the beauty before him
Just how real
It can be to love unconditionally
Because they can only
See the pain inside of them
While using others

The beast disguises
The beauty of all we had
As he runs
Fleeing from something
You wanted to give
But they could not grasp
Loving some-thing
Not capable of loving you

Trying to understand
What is there deep inside of you
Lost, hurt and abused.

A Week Later

A week later and my mind is numb
My body is yet fully aware of what happened last week
No longer cloudy
Understanding of what happened

No longer denying the feeling
The overwhelming emotion that comes with admission
Realizing the effects of what took place

Unable to move
Caught in a trance
More like a nightmare of invasions, deceit and murder
Leaving a wake of fear and doom

Trying to break free
I indulge in liquid courage mixed with herbal persuasion
Only to find a piece of the rock to tame the demons inside

Not feeling like myself
I look in the mirror
Only to see someone else I don't recognize, understand or care to know
I metaphorsis into something else
Masking the old
Feeling my wings behind me trying to take flight but can't quite leave the ground

I'm weighed down by uncertainty
Feeling lost in my own mind
My body giving me reminders of what happened just last week
When my unconscious mind was awakened to reality
Of betrayal, hurt, victimization
And yet...

I don't feel like the same person I was then
Seven days later and I'm meeting someone new
Someone shy, naive, awkward
Nothing I'm used to...

Not knowing how to react
I look around
Seeing things like I've never envisioned them before
Hearing words that I can finally comprehend
Feeling each hair on the back of my neck as the wind whispers by me
Appreciating the beauty that surrounds me

Inside I'm seven days old
Evolving inside my chrysalis
While outside my body is molting, renewing itself
Becoming something totally different

I wonder what I'll look like a week from now...

Warning

What is he doing to me
Making me want him although he has warned me to stay away
He is my addiction, my mystery, my must have
He is the one I want even though
He has told me without certainty reasons to walk away

I can't explain it
This feeling of thirst that keeps me wanting more
Looking for what he has promised wasn't there
Needing to beat down the walls
That surround us not willing to give up

I don't know what to do
But expose myself to him
Let him see what is right before his eyes
Show how strong my love can be for the both of us
While holding on to my sanity keeping me from completely giving up

I can't let him hurt me
Tho he has
He warned me not to ask for too much
But I can't resist the intensity of what we share in each others eyes
The wanting, the needing, the escape from our busy lives
For a moment that is peaceful and refreshing
Trying not to let him get the best of me each time he tries to show what his mind doesn't want me to see

I'm in it
Diving into a mass of fear and insecurity
Seeing me not too long ago
In his words not validated by his actions
But he warned me
Told me not to expect too much
As he looks at me penetrating all my filters and defenses
As I turn away to run but letting him hold me back

I don't know what to think
As he makes love to me
Makes me his with each stroke
Not realizing that with each thrust, he is giving me a part of him more significant then the walls around him
Because he whispers what his heart won't scream out
He wants me, filling me up, needing to be in my warmth and surrounded by the comfort of how I feel around him

All I can do is wait
Heed his warning and tread lightly as not to scare him away
Show him how safe my love could be
If he would just stop fighting
Let it happen as naturally as it did the first time we met
Without a need to warn me
But being just who he is capable to be
The man that tells me why I should walk away but has given me more than enough reason stay

I got it
I've been forewarned...