Wednesday, July 3, 2013


Lost in a world of disbelief
Knowing that they have taken their love away
Not caring about me or the way
They have made me feel
Not taking blame for any of their errors
Blind to the hurt they have caused me
Claiming confused but really just waiting for a way out
I gave them what they wanted
Hoping they would wake up
Only to find everything of me
Tossed out

In the name of love they kept me on a tightrope
Knowing they didn't really love me
Only used me for convenience
Dangling my heart over my mind
Always making promises they couldn't keep
Always saying what they will do but not carrying through
Meanwhile I'm heart broken and feeling weak
Not wanting to live in this cruel world
Of love and hate
Wishing for a bullet to set it straight

I'm lost in a world
Of nothing ness and devoured by
Loves cruel joke
Torn and broken to pieces
By their choice to totally discard everything we have
For who? For what?
Fear is no longer the answer because I did my part.
Showing you everything deep inside me
Yet in the end it meant nothing
You couldn't even come to my rescue when I was drowning.

Lost in a world of disbelief
At the way I still love you
Knowing you don't love me
Crying with pity
Over knowing that I was replaceable
When you said many times you would never love anyone as much as you loved me
In the end you did because you forgot about me and what we shared and what I was to you
And how many secrets we share
And how I know you sometimes better than you know yourself
And how you loved me like no one else
To give up at a time when something was more giving and superficial
When even your words said
You couldn't, can't and wouldn't.

Lost and feeling obsolete
Burned beyond recognition
Totally turned inside out not knowing who I am
Without you
Not knowing what to tell my heart that adores you
Its just not me but my offspring will lose out on a future with you

Lost in disbelief at so little I mean to you now
After you looked me in my eyes
And made a promise to love me
Be there for me forever
Made love to my body and my soul
Than leave me in a vulnerable state
As if everything, everything we had was nothing
Low on your list of priorities
For what? For who?
Because you were too torn between two worlds
That proved to be too much for you too fight for
Even though I never stopped fighting for Us.

Praying for you to see the truth
And wake up to reality
I hoped you would get from
Me telling you the truth of your ways
But no.
You were blinded only by what you wanted to see
And not what was obvious in me.
Lost, walking around in anguish in an unfair world of disbelief.