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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Honesty is NOT the best policy

Today my feelings were validated. Being honest with someone is not always the best route to take especially when people can't handle the truth or can't respect what you have to say.
Today I was honest with someone that I cared about and who I felt I had built a friendship that was unbreakable but I learned the truth today- it was. My respect and loyalty to them was not mutual. I was honest about what I had to offer and offered my best- my friendship. They walked away because I couldn't meet what they wanted from me but I thought I was as least their friend. That's what we were good at or so I thought.
When I spoke to a couple of people about it they said that "it was an immature move on their part," that he was "just being a man and I no longer served his purpose," that "I didn't fit his mission," and that "maybe he just needed time" but I thought true friendship was about accepting each other for who you are and what the person brings to the table as your friend. Its not selfish. Its not disloyal. Its not conditional. Its not any of the things I learned today. I am surprised that they ended it the way they did because I thought, beyond anything else, that they would respect that I was not leading them down a road that I couldn't walk on straight completely.  That I needed time to heal from my past and my pain and I needed to focus on my health and that I needed them to be exactly what they were- my friend.  Isn't that what people who care about each other do?

Maybe I was just a woman to them. Maybe I was just a "mission" for them. Now I have to explain to my kids why they won't see them again. I have to explain to my parents why they won't conversate with them anymore. I have to come to terms that I was just a "season" in another person's life.
I have to repair my own disappoinment in my own part in this too because I truly am feeling hurt right now and a sense of loss.
I have repaired a few important friendships the last couple of months. I never thought I would be gaining friends back and then losing another- especially this one.

Its a new year and I can't let people tear me down like I used to allow people to do, so I will pray on it, and hope that my original reasoning for being honest today continues to be the right reason and that I was not honest and genuine in vain- but until then "honesty is not the best policy." He validated that today in the worse way.

Friday, January 4, 2013

What am I Gonna Do- Tyrese (lyrics)

Got me thinking this morning...



Yeah, heh, all these years I've wanting you in my life
And now I finally have you
I'm a do everything in my strength to keep you near
I care about you, I just want to make you smile, lets go

All the many days you were on my mind
Visions of me with you, all the time
You wasn't looking for a man, you made it clear
(Clear to me)
And now I'm ever so glad that I have you near

Here in my life, just you and I
We can do whatever we want to
I'm living my life with you by my side
Oh one day, I'm a make you my wife, baby

I was excited, 'cause I was falling, falling in love with you
Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do?
I was excited, 'cause I was falling, falling in love with you
Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do?

Do whatever puts a smile on my baby's face
Girl you're my best friend and you can never be replaced
There's nothing in this world, I wouldn't do
(Do for you)
You were one of my baby dreams and I'm so glad that it came true

Here in my life, just you and I
We can go anywhere we want to baby
I'm living my life with you by my side
Oh, one day I'm a make you my wife, yes I am

I was excited, 'cause I was falling, falling in love with you
(Oh, falling in love with you)
Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do?
(Oh, I've gone beside by myself)
I was excited, 'cause I was falling, falling in love with you
(And it feels so good to me baby)
[| From: http://www.elyrics.net |]

Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do?

Since I gave you all my trust
(And you never take my trust for granted)
And you given so much love
(Oh, you've given me so much love, baby)
You're everything I want and need
(You're everything that I want and I need, baby)
Girl you got the best of me
(Oh, you got the best of me)

Break it down, oh oh oh I was falling in love
I don't know what to do, I just love you
Every inch of my body, falling in love
We'll just take it one day at a time

I was excited, 'cause I was falling, falling in love with you
(Oh, I don't wanna rush into romance)
Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do?
(Oh, I just want you in my arms, baby)
I was excited, 'cause I was falling, falling in love with you
(When I see you, I wanna touch you)
Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do?
(And feel you, and hold you babe, baby, baby)

I was excited
(Oh, it feels so good, to be in love)
Now that I've fallen
(To get loved in return, oh)
I was excited, 'cause I was falling, falling in love with you
('Cause it feels good, oh 'cause it feels good)
Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do?

(Oh)
I was excited, cause I was falling, falling in love with you
(Said it feels so good having your arms around)
Now that I've fallen, what am I gonna do
(Feeling so complete baby, that's what I feel)

these lyrics are last corrected by Burkul


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzz4k6MCink

Thursday, January 3, 2013

I Choose You- Keysha Cole (lyrics)

okay, got a little emotional on this one...

[Verse 1:]So many things he does for meSuch a provider he cares for meWish I could give him all of meBut I can't, can't let you goI tried hating you, but I just love you moreCompared him to you, but he can't match your scoreIn this game of love, there's no rulesWhen it comes to us, I choose you.
[Chorus:]If it ain't you, it's not worth itNo matter what I do, nothings workingBaby I know love's not perfectEven if he gives me the world it will never be enoughCause I choose youI choose youAnd if it ain't youThen it's just not worth it
[Verse 2:]I heard you found you anotherBut she's not me, how could you love her?We got history, we were meant to beShe can't replace what we had based on chemistryI tried hating but I just love you moreDon't care what she doShe could never match my scoreIn this game of love, there's no rules[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-choose-you-lyrics-keyshia-cole.html ]When it comes to us, I choose you.
[Chorus:]If it ain't you, it's not worth itNo matter what I do, nothings workingBaby I know love's not perfectEven if he gives me the world it will never be enoughCause I choose youI choose youAnd if it ain't youThen it's just not worth it
[Bridge:]Can't give upI'm a keep on tryingTo get your loveNo sense in denyingYou had my heartI'm not over youWhatever it takes I'm gon do.
[Chorus:]If it ain't you, it's not worth itNo matter what I do, nothing workingBaby I know love's not perfectEven if he gives me the world it will never be enoughCause I choose youI choose youAnd if it ain't youThen it's just not worth it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jvin6ef-Ak

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year friends and fam! I am so happy that a new year is here and a fresh start is upon us all. Last year was a very huge emotional rollercoaster and I am so glad I am off that ride. I can only go up from here. I have a lot planned this year- big one is too get started in my career and possibly pursue my Masters Degree.
I also plan to go somewhere I have never been and take the twins on a real vacation!

What are some of YOUR New Years Resolutions? Share them with me.