Thursday, August 30, 2012

Lauryn Hill- I Gotta Find Peace of Mind lyrics

"I Gotta Find Peace Of Mind"

I gotta find peace of mind
I know another cord...
I gotta find peace of mind
See, this what that voice in your head says
When you try to get peace of mind...
I gotta find peace of mind, I gotta find peace of mind
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says there's no me without him, please help me forget about him
He takes all my energy, trapped in my memory
Constantly holding me, constantly holding me
I need to tell you all, all the pain he's caused, mmmm
I need to tell I'm, I'm undone because, mmmm
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's impossible without him, but I know it's possible
To finally be in love, and know the real meaning of
A lasting relationship, not based on ownership
I trust every part of you, cuz all that I... All that you say you do
You love me despite myself, sometimes I fight myself
I just can't believe that you, would have anything to do
With someone so insecure, someone so immature
Oh you inspire me, to be the higher me
You made my desire pure, you made my desire pure
Just tell me what to say, I can't find the words to say
Please don't be mad with me, I have no identity
All that I've known is gone, all I was building on
I don't wanna walk with you, how do I talk to you
Touch my mouth with your hands, touch my mouth with your hands
Oh I wanna understand, the meaning of your embrace
I know now I have to face, the temptations of my past
Please don't let me disgrace, where my devotion lays
Now that I know the truth, now that it's no excuse
Keeping me from your love, what was I thinking of?
Holding me from your love, what was I thinking of?
You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
He says it's improbable, but I know it's tangeable
He says it's not grabbable, but I know it's haveable
Cuz anything's possible, oh anything is possible
Please come free my mind, please come meet my mind
Can you see my mind, oh
Won't you come free my mind?
Oh I know it's possible
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, yeeey
Oh free! Free, free, free your mind
Free, free your mind... free, free your mind
Free, free, free, free your mind
Oh, it's so possible, oh it's so possible
I'm telling you it's possible, I'm telling you it's possible
Free, free... free, free... free, free... get free now
Free, free... free, free, free, free... free, free
You're my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
You're my peace of mind, you're my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind, he's my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind, he's my peace of mind
What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah
Everyday's another chance
To get it right this time
Everyday's another chance
Oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful God
[Repeat till fade]

Listen here

Monday, August 27, 2012

A week has passed...

A week has passed since he left and I can still feel his presence. Unfortunately, I can still feel the pain of that day too as if it was still happening.
I've decided to work on myself for a while and try some new things and visit some new places.
I've also decided to step out my comfort zone and the norm to meet new types of people.

Any suggestions on new places to try, places to go?

I am so ready for a vacation!

Thursday, August 23, 2012


After convos with someone special to me and just being totally out of it, I can't concentrate at work or even think past yesterday. So irritated at myself right now for investing so much time and effort into what now proves to be- NOTHING.
In one week I have managed to separate myself from the world, lose one maybe two important people to me and I don't have the energy for anything or anyone but work and I can't even focus on that. So ready to go home and crawl under the sheets with 2 Advil PMs and a cocktail!

New readers added

Welcome Harrison and Shameka! Join as a follower!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I choose...

As of today I have chosen to be celibant. No more men until my heart mends. I can't and won't share something so precious without love and commitment which I don't foresee for a long time.
This heart break I am feeling right now has totally consumed whats left of my heart. I feel empty, emotionless and drained.
I can't take anymore. He was THE last chance I am going to take for a long time. It will take a very strong patient man to penetrate this fortress I have built.
I choose celibancy from the broken promises and countless efforts to be my best. I'm done with love and all it suggests.
I choose celibacy.- August 22 2012.

I Pray to My Pain

I Pray to My Pain

I’m heartbroken
Because of the love I’ve lost
Wishing for what we once had
With full love and full trust.

An aching, knawing, painful feeling
Takes over me and death’s appealing.

I’m lost and confused
At this dreadful miserable end
I can’t even wish
Or try to pretend.

My pulse is weak
And my breath is shallow.
I’m slowly slipping
My mind soon will follow.

I’m lonely and desperate
Holding on to the past.
I’m falling so deep
I’m losing it fast.

I’m screaming inside
And cursing at life.
My future is bleak
I’m losing this fight.

I’ve felt such a loss
When I turned true love away before.
But this time it’s different
I gave my all and much more.

I welcomed you completely
With no reservations or doubts.
With open arms I embraced you
I left nothing out.

A friendship so rare
Everyone could see
That you and I
Were meant to be.

But now I stand alone
With my dreams quickly shattered.
I walk around helpless
My soul is tattered.

Gloomy and dark
My soul thrashes and screams.
I pray for this nightmare
To not destroy my dreams.

I’m broken
I’m lost
I’m lonely
I’m scared

I can’t begin to understand
Or even try to compare.
How can I go on
When I can’t even believe
Or fathom the reason you left
And completely abandoned me?

I gave you my All
Turned others aside
I completely let go
And let you totally inside.

I blindly grasp
For what all of this means.
I’m lonely and broken
And my future is yet to be seen.

Living in the past
Foretold what it would be
A valid yet strong
Sense of fantasy.

Yet I’m here and still broken
Because I thought we were much more
Two people who love
Straight right to the core.

Broken, lonely, lost and yet sure
That no other union will
Surpass this that is pure
I hope that you’re happy
For this I will say
There never will be a day
That I won’t miss you and still see
Your smile and your tenderness
That so gently captured me
I pray no I plead
That one day this pain will fade
But our love
Yes our love
Will always remain
And my pain
O this pain
Won’t forever stay the same

© copyright 2012-08-22 16:52:26 - All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Your comments are welcome

Hello all, whenever you view my blog please add your comments to my writings so that I can view your feedback and get a feel for your reaction once you are finished reading.
I would appreciate greatly and look forward to seeing your work as well.
Add me to your blog as a reader. 

Thank you all for your support!

Lyrics to Adele- Make You Feel My Love



When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love

Courtesy of YouTube's subscriber link

Empty House

As I walk around this empty house
The shadows are laughing at me.
They see my agony and pain
But they do nothing to comfort me.
Through their taunting I hear them say
This house is not home.
And I quickly reply
But this home is where I’ll stay.
I open doors to see him there
I look below and there she stares.

I close my eyes and my heart is pumping
Like its running away
Beating and gasping for life
Trying to pick up the pieces
I feel something reach for me
But nobody’s there
I can’t scream
I can’t cry
Only my fears fill the air.

I try to find my way out
But I’m falling too fast
Step one and step two
Are my future and my past.

I see some sunshine
Peeking through the darkness.
I walk and I shiver
I can feel its closeness.
I push and I fight trying to flee from the madness
But no matter how hard I try
I can’t grasp my true happiness.
So I give up in despair and
I walk through the house
Turning everything upside down
Even my wishes and my doubts.

I settle down to give up
And wait for Love there
Hoping and dreaming
For a rescue so near
Yet too far away
To hold on to and care
I fall asleep waiting in waste and despair.

To wake up and find
That my Faith is still there
Smiling and opening the path
To somewhere.

I stand and take hold
Of the hands that find mine
Leading me to reality
With a promise so rare…
To find love that surpasses them all
True happiness unending
A home full of peace
Designed just for me
Made for only me
Fitting only me
Constructed on a foundation
Of friendship and trust
No jealousy or misfortune
Can ruin or destruct.

I’m walking around this empty house
Free to be Me
I’m taking it back, my own Destiny.

© copyright 2012-08-21 13:08:35 - All Rights Reserved

Friday, August 17, 2012

Sweet Surrender

As I sit here emotionless and worn out
I think of my sweet surrender to love.
I surrendered my heart and gave you my all.
I took a chance.
I rose
and with pride
I stood tall.

I had finally become a Woman.
Loyal and True.
I made up my mind, I was destined for You.

I took my pride out my pocket
and wore it on my sleeve
for everyone to see
For finally I was Free.

I surrendered Whole heartedly
I gave it my Best
I reveled in your touch and your sweet tenderness
I shared something solid, my home and My space
for no one has ever taken that place.

I always use to talk about You
compared you as Best.
I never fully let anyone in
My memories couldn't rest.

Something kept telling me
go back and you will see
finally I thought I have my destiny.
I surrendered all rights
and gave my heart and my sole
I gave you the best-
The best part of Me.

It wasn't enough.
I tried and I tried.
I can't seem to get there no matter how hard I fight.
Have I lost yet again this moment that's right?

I did what I set out to do
That I can say
but over and over it felt like child's play
you threw all my efforts out
and ran far away.
Left me lost and broken
and feeling some way.

I surrender. You won. I'm failing so fast.
I can't seem to run from it
my past, yes the past.

I fall and I cry
tormented by the truth
your leaving is clear
your actions are proof.

I'm just the one that Adores you.
and will die with you here
closed and consumed with you
Hiding in fear.

I only wanted to touch you
one last time
I only wanted to kiss you
one last time
I only wanted to feel you
one last time
But to no avail...
you took that away with you too.

I surrender. I'm done.
I'm frozen. I'm blue.

I throw my heart in
It shatters
my dreams are now sadder.

I'm battered.
I'm torn.
I'm all drained out.
I surrender
O sweet surrender...
I'm done with the doubts.

I see it in your eyes
your love for me has changed
your gone and fleeing
and sorrow has taken reign.

My closure is weak
over a future disposed
I surrender my heart
Its the finale I propose.

I surrender
I surrender
I surrender my dear
Know in my heart
I will always be here
Loving you
Feeling you
and thinking of you
I surrender my love
I love you. I do.

© copyright 2012-08-17 15:08:44 - All Rights Reserved

I Must Be Broken byxxPlagueRatxx

the thing is
i caution myself
time after time
but once i’m committed
i believe in their lies.
i let them get away
with things
too easily
but it’s once i get to know
who they really are
that i become weak
to their cruelty.
i care for him,
but still flinch away
from a non violent hand,
a hand not intended
to hurt all i am.
but somehow
i get this feeling
that he doesn’t really care,
men are but dogs
that seek prey,
they use them
or abuse them
and then
just throw them away.
i know this may be deceit
but let me commit
my own little crimes
i don’t want a future
as any male’s wife.
i fear them too much
that it’s impossible to trust
even if they’re good people
they can turn.
savages! they are,
they’ll steal your heart
convince you
they love you
as they rip you apart,
he left me here
so don’t tell me
you love me
if you’re happy
to watch me fall.

Read more:

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Thought for the idea- courtesy of Honey Moses!

I just filed for divorce.
Divorcing my past, divorcing my pain, divorcing my doubt, divorcing negativity, divorcing my set backs and divorcing lack. 
The judge gave me full custody of my destiny, full custody of my call and full custody of my life.
Divorce yourself from your past so that your future can be released!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Lyrics to Tamia- Beautiful Surprise

For the first time in my life
I just might be tongue tied
For me to wake up with you kissing me
Saying you've been missing me
What a beautiful surprise

Cause I wasn't expecting you till late tonight
No, and I didn't hear you come inside
But there's nothing in this world that I want more
Than to have my baby back in my arms

All I can say is
Uh, ah so happy that I could cry
What a beautiful surprise
Uh, ah my man is back on my side
What a beautiful surprise

I ain't that easy to shock
But it looks like you hit the spot
For me to wake up with you holding me
And telling me you're loving me
You've got my heart on love

Cause I wasn't expecting you till late tonight
No, and I didn't hear you come inside
But there's nothing in this world that I want more
Than to have my baby back in my arms

All I can say is
Uh, ah so happy that I could cry
What a beautiful surprise
Uh, ah my man is back on my side
What a beautiful surprise

I was needing you so bad
You know, it feels like I'm dreaming
My mind explodes
For you to be the first thing that I see when I open my eyes
Such a beautiful, beautiful surprise

Uh, ah so happy that I could cry
What a beautiful surprise
Uh, ah my man is back on my side
What a beautiful surprise

Uh, ah so happy that I could cry
What a beautiful surprise
Uh, ah my man is back on my side
What a beautiful surprise

A beautiful surprise, yeah...

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Thinking of you

When I think of you and I envision your face
I can feel your warmth and your sweet embrace.
When I see your smile it warms my soul
And keeps me wanting and needing you more
When I hear your voice it soothes my mind
It tickles at my senses and makes me unwind
When I feel your touch I melt inside
Longing for your kisses and the tender moments that I’m missing
When I see you after a long goodbye
My heart stops skipping and I feel so high
When you I see your text come thru my phone
I blush and rush to respond to my home
When my heart beats- it beats for you
And nothing can compare to what you do
You make me smile
You make me laugh
You care for me deeply 
You love me sincerely
You don’t fret my past
You don’t fear our future
You love me completely 
You love me sincerely
When I think of what could have been
I smile cause I know
When I think of what’s next
I already know
A long time of friendship
A love that is true
I can’t stop wanting and needing us too
When I think of you I feel powerful love
When I think of you I know that its real
When I think of you my heart is filled
When I think of you all things come clear
I’m missing you
Needing you
Loving you more
I’m thinking of you
Can you feel it too?

© copyright 2012-08-09 14:48:45 - All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Friends come and go

Friends come and go but one thing will always remain- You. Being true to yourself is just as important as the relationship you have with others. When you give your all and receive less than what you deserve than know that You as an individual did your part to be the best to that person.
When people let others come between their friendship than their intentions in your friendship were not genuine because if they truly are your friend they will draw on THEIR friendship with you despite others to maintain that loyalty.  Their have been many times someone has told me something ill about someone else to break the friendship or stop it from even starting, but because I am who I am, I draw my own conclusions and go against the grain most times because outsiders never want you to have what they can't have or don't deserve and that's a friendship of a true person- like me. I've also seen friends end friendships because of their current lover or partner when that friend was true from the beginning and that lover was being deceitful and deceptive or had their own negative intentions...The true friendship is gone and their broken heart is longing for something they had at the beginning- loyalty.

My mom once told me you can't make someone love you who doesn't want it or doesn't deserve it. The same is true for friends. You can't force your friendship on someone who doesn't deserve it or doesn't cherish it.

I am tired of people taking the words of others as value when their experience with me has been nothing short of love and respect. I do not keep people in my life who I feel are their for a season because my friendship is not limited to trivial things. My friendship- what I give to everyone in my life- is built on a foundation based on Love. I love everyone in my life with the same passion I have for my intimate partner. I will go down fighting for you if you deserve that time and effort and I expect the same in return.
I understand that not everyone is like me, but that's because they haven't been where I have been and suffered the way I have and lost like I have. Unless you know me, you can't understand the value of my friends to me unless you truly are my friend.

I am a very strong, opinionated and confident person but that's what most admire about me and others hate. I speak my mind and keep it real at all times. Some can't respect that and some can't handle it but why expect less than that from a person who has proven their true friendship to you? Keep it real with me because I will always keep it real with you. Respect me for my opinions and feelings because I will always respect yours.

I have been through war with my friends standing by their side through thick and thin (losing sleep and tears) and more than once I have been the one released from the bond of friendship because of others words or actions. I can admit to my faults and apologize and do what it takes to restore what's lost but I can't do that if the other person does not value our friendship the same as me.

As my best friend (SM) just said to me and which inspired this post, "If you want to walk out of my life, let me hold the door for you." I couldn't have said it better. However, for me, my arms are always open to let you back in if your worth it and you truly want our friendship to last. That's what a true friend does and that's who I have always been.

Two friends have hurt me recently but I accepted the apology of one (CA) and finally let go of the other (DM) because at the end I know I did my part to repair what was broken, even though in my heart, I didn't deserve the outcome.

Love yourself and be true to yourself and in return demand the same from your friends. Don't settle for anything less because friendships come and go but loyalty remains forever.