Sunday, April 28, 2013

Love is Not

I've come to the conclusion that being happy in love is not in the cards for me
I choose death over a life filled with misery
Lost in  a web of agony and pain
I hopelessly hang my head in shame
Wondering why I've been cast aside to have love so close but not able to touch it enough to feel its joy
Praying for a way out of this torture that my heart puts me through not able to see the sunshine on my face because the tears keep falling

I'm wishing for my fate to end so that I can escape this dread I've been sentenced to
Wanting so much to have my forever only to have days ahead that are filled with loneliness
There is only so much I can do to love myself without longing for another to love me deeper than the ocean depth

Is it too much to long for or to want a companion by your side or is it my curse that I want such a beautiful thing in my life

I'm dreading the lonely nights and the weeping willows outside my window whispering to me
As I toss and turn trying to find comfort between cold hard sheets

I'm restless and tired consumed by disgust for what I've done to myself to destroy what should have been long ago
And damned myself to a life of multiple liasons and scars on my soul
Only to finally fall into an abyss of nothingness filled with blood sucking vampires who want to invigorate me but not save me from an eternity of sorrow

I'm convinced that this is my fate and with this I resign myself to damnation for not wanting to live another retched day filled with nobody by my side to love and cherish
A miserable existence it is to not wake up to a warm embrace
And a smile that welcomes you to a new day
And what a horrible day it is when the sun can't shine because the clouds are standing still over your head

I'll accept my fate and metamorphis into a cocoon hoping to turn into something more beautiful and wanted
I've come to accept that being in love is not in my future and that I was made only to transform over and over again in an endless game of what ifs

I accept that I am dead inside out and love is not my fate.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

This World

What has this world come to be
Where parents are killing their own offspring
And children are killing each other
Only Satan the Devil can stand the true trial of these last days we live in
For people were not created to destroy one another
They were born to obey the first commandment to "love thy neighbor as yourself"
But in the midst of hatred and greed we have learned violence and self destruction
At the readiness of guns and war

Our children are brought up to fear the unknown and turn to television heroes instead of the parental arms that should protect them
Being misled my forces of evil that rather destroy our future instead of building hope

Drugs are marketed to make you feel alive
While they eat at your conscious and wreak havoc on your mind
Making zombies out of people we once loved
And the streets take the innocence from those we turn our backs on

Society is not the only one to blame for our self destruction because they are motivated by money not love as He commanded us

Our mentors are weary with no help from our guardians
The schools are flooded by teachers who forgot the compassion they need to raise leaders and not followers

The Devil has lied to all of us when he misled Eve to think that God did not want her to rise above him and love us
She sealed our fate by giving the deception to Adam who we were supposed to follow as a guide
Giving death to us all

This world has fallen to the demons and prayers are heard no more
As we defile our bodies with fumes in white packaging
And intoxicating liquid that makes us cross the line to kill strangers
Heartless and abused we crawl through life scared to trust and give into the laws written long ago

This world is ending and only
Jah can save us now from the canons that destroy villages
Followed by natural occurrences that extinct generations

Fall down and pray for your souls because judgment day is near
And with hope we wish to find eternal peace and long suffering
By the sacrifice his Son gave for us

In the meantime forgive your brother of their trespasses and stop blaming God for the loss of your loved ones
Because only the one banished is responsible for the death, destruction and violence the world is being controlled by
Stay blessed and bow before the King as we await everlasting life in a world full of love and void of hatred
God Bless

Poured Out My Heart

I poured out my heart to you
Exposing myself for love
With no response I chastise myself for having faith in something bigger than me

I cast outside my dignity in exchange for being true
Abandoned with your silence
I ache and long for you

Running away in fear I clutch my chest
Trying to hold on to the beating inside that is slowly fading with each tear I cry

Opening myself to the vanity of my mind
I found myself alone in my hopes and dreams while waiting for you to come back to me

What did I do to deserve this fate without you
When all I ever wanted was right before me
Smiling sweetly engulfed in your embrace

I poured out my weaknesses and trusted you with them
Only for all my woes to fall on dead ears
No nothing. No sign. No reply.

In my loneliness I wait for something to come forth and take my hand
To show me the way to a place I long to be and free
But with no remorse you leave me barren and spent
Only wishing for time unspent
Dying inside while your life goes on before me

Endless regrets filled with lustful memories of our love making and the joy you brought to my heart
Was my naive heart too blind to see that you resurrected love in me
Only to leave me looking into the stars for images of the time gone by

I poured out my heart to you
Only to endure a bigger pain compared to losing my unborn child
Stuck in a hell of unburied hurt and pain

I long for you to take charge of my grief and release me from this misery called love
I wait for you only to go lost in my want for you

I choose in the end to allow my heart to abandon free for enslavement
knowing that you are the One my heart beats for
I poured out my heart in wishes for you and yet I've learned that not all wishes come true
Especially for me...

I silently withdraw and banish my love
Leaving the best part of me behind with you
I settle for less to win the war and force peace
But remember I poured out my heart to you and you rejected it in fear of a love too true

Love and Ethics

In my finest hour I ignored the signs that you had moved on
I find you with her and my heart breaks like a fallen petal from a forbidden rose
I follow my heart and try to fight for what my heart yearns
Only to be ripped apart by your words
I've fallen even though I've already broken
By laws and ethics that don't allow for our love to be true

I've stumbled upon your heart too late
For you have chosen another fate safe within her heart
And left yours with me

Our fight will never end for I will die loving you
In my misery I see you; in my bosom I breathe for you
As I go on loving you like I love the wings on a butterfly
I count the colors of of our fate and
Never stop wishing for your happiness

I go on loving you from afar knowing I can not give you my all
Yet I've been doing so for so long that its hard to give my heart away completely
For I fear missing you and losing you without saying goodbye
My soul is weak and defeated hearing your words of freedom from the chains of being in love with me
Free yourself for in my love I will always be enslaved
Scared to be who I am but fearful of him that judges me

O how my faith suffers that I can live another day
Wishing and praying for Paradise to come
To take this pain away for the destruction in my loins
That hurt beyond compare and more than I can stand

I'm loving you and hating what I've become
Less of an advocate for my own heart and always fighting for yours
I'm dead inside knowing I can't love freely within my own choices

I yield, falling to his grace
While still loving and needing you
I hold you close to me as I set you free to love
In my pain I find forgiveness
As I watch you embrace her love
Leaving us behind
I am victorious though I have not won
I survive in your happiness free of love and ethics

Monday, April 22, 2013

My Hearts Plea for Me

As each minute goes by I regret the fearful moment I let you go
I'm holding on to something old
Hurting my blessings of something new
I'm loving you and I know its true
For with each day I can't stop thinking of you

I regret the words I spoke to you
And the hurt I heard in your reply
But what you don't know is that it hurt me too
Because I know my heart had been denied

I'm hopeful yet scared to come to you
Because your running scared from me
But I'm begging you to slow down and remember what you had with me

I pray to God to reach your heart
Since its hiding out from me
I promise to hold you close and never leave your side
If you will just come back to me

I regret the day I stopped believing in what the stars were trying to tell me
Because right now I'm missing out on my angel, my love and everything you are to me

So here I am standing before you bare asking you to take this chance
I know in my heart that this is it and your the only one for me
Alone I am strong but with you I can do anything
Your my strength, my hope and the right man for me

In my plea I'm asking you to see this for what it is
A wish and a promise that I'll love you forever more
If you just do me this honor and be what I need you to be and let me be the one you adore

As each moment goes by that I wait for your return
I'm hoping that you love me as much as I feel you do
And forgive me for running scared and hurting your heart too

Remember in your mind that I've been broken too
but you were the one who repaired it and I want to do the same for you
I love you and please know that the words i say are true
For on this day I'm asking you not to just forgive me but to be my only One too

I'm in love with you.

Wide Open

Wide open. Torn apart.
Thinking about you and you
Wondering what my heart is trying to tell me
Distinguishing between the two
Looking at my future too
Hoping for an answer clearer than whats in front of me

Going back and forth im struggling with my feelings
Not knowing whether its fear or promise; joy or regret; love or lust...
The past is clear but the present is clouded as I try to see through to an unclear path
I'm wishing for forever but stuck in right now
Not sure about you or you
Caught in the same dilemma of loving not one but two
Confused and mistaken

I'm bruised but still healing from past mistakes
Still swimming in guilt
Longing for the kind of love I've always dreamed of
Hoping I'm not too late
Missing what I once had but can't seem to hold on to

Loving you but loving him too
Praying for a dream come true where I can blend the best of both of you
In a perfect world I would have the two of you
Loving and wanting me
But in reality I know that my heart could not survive such a triangle of deception...for long

Wide open. Loving you and you.
Wanting two completely different men with different outcomes.
One defining my past. The other writing the way to my future.
Torn but focused on my happiness knowing which way I should go but terrified of making the wrong choice
Wide open. Loving you and you.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

In Lust with My Best Friend

Its always a turn on when I see your naked body before me
Your porcelain skin smooth to the touch
Your breasts full and perfect against your petite frame

I can imagine your pink lips against mine
As you tease me with your tongue
Walking away with those eyes wanting me but feeling a little shy
You may be my best friend but you and I do more together then just have fun

Undressing in front of you
I see you sneaking peeks
Little did you know I set you up for a treat
As I slowly take my clothes off
Your watching me silently, getting aroused
Touching yourself as I bend over to show just a little
To make you ask me for more

You approach me to assist me with my buttons
Touching me lightly
While your mouth finds that spot behind my ear I always tell you turns me on
Remember I know your spot just as well as you know mine

You may be my best friend but the attraction is too strong
I turn you to look at me and massage your flawless face
You smile and blush because your comfortable in my embrace

I've always loved the sight of you
And the way you carry yourself
Kind of hard not to want you knowing what turns you on
I am the one who knows you maybe more than you know yourself

You may be my best friend but I'm in love with everything about you
The way you open up to me
And talk about whats weighing on your heart
But must of all I love you for the friendship we had from the start

We may be best friends but your sexy to me
And I know just one night you would love it with me
I'll show the way you should always feel
Because these men you been dealing with are far from real

I love you my friend and we are great either way
But trust me I'll give you reasons to stay
You know you want it I can see it in your eyes
The way you watch me and touch yourself between those great thighs
Come lets do this and enjoy ourselves
Then tomorrow we will get back to what we have always been
Best friends in lust with thoughts that never end

Saturday, April 20, 2013


I want to reinvent your mind so you understand the magnitude of my feelings for you
BUT before I can I must make a lasting first impression to make you want to see me again and get to know me
I have to keep you wanting more,  refreshing your mind with thoughts of me
I need to make sure you think of me when you go to bed at night and when you wake in the morning

I have to then get out my steal toed boots so I can go to work
Because your mind has built a wall full of pain and hurt
Tall and thick and unpenetrable but not enough to make you scared
I need to make you open up and want for more then just whats there

I plan to seduce and fulfill your every desire
Because one thing I know if nothing  else, is that sex can keep him there
As I make love to your mind
While I fullfil your every fantasy
I want to take in all of you and have you coming back for more

I'm in lust with you and I realize thats true
But I also want to be in love with you
Because your mental is so stimulating and the way you think turns me on
I want to be surrounded by your knowledge and what makes you tick
But first I have to reinvent

Your used to women who use you for the emotional orgasms you give them
But very few of them really get you
You keep coming across groupies who want to be in your crew
But they dont take the time to really know you
The type of women you meet are just their for the now not knowing that your heart is investing somehow

You need a woman like me who appreciates your talent and supports you whether the music is playing or not
You need a woman who can stimulate your mind as well and makes you want to think not just fuck
You need a woman who can see into heart and not just whats sexy on the outside

You needed to reinvent in your mind the type of woman that is going to be there for a reason not just for this season clueless of what it takes to make a real man happy
Im willing to put the work in to reinvent your mind of what a good woman is
So we can fall in love and build a foundation thats always evolving into better
A real love with a real woman with a man that is worthy of reinventing a future with no walls and no boundaries
A new man ready to fall in love.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

In My Mind

In my mind I know I made a safe decision but what I don't know is just how hurt that decision made you feel.
In my mind I know what I need and what I want but I never thought I would meet- You.

In my mind I know that I love you. In my heart I know your possibly the One
but that possibly has me listening to my mind first knowing how I am.

In my heart I understand what makes me happy- closeness, passion, being able to be with you whenever my heart desires.
But in my mind I know that I'm not strong enough to endure the distance it takes to get what my heart so desperately needs.
In my heart I feel like I'm cheating myself
But in my mind I know I just can't do this.

Its amazing the tricks our mind plays on us when its in a battle with our hearts.
Its confusing when your heart wants what your mind tells you to walk away from.
Its overwhelming when your heart is screaming I need this when your mind is whispering you don't want this.
O what a depressing feeling when your heart longs for someone so beautiful like you and your mind just won't give in and let you...

In my mind I know I can move on.
In my heart I know you can't be replaced.
In my mind I know what I don't want to do.
In my heart I know I can do anything with you.
In my mind I just can't see how we can be.
In my heart I know I want you right here with me.

My mind is playing russian roulette with me and I'm so scared that my mind will scare my heart into being blinded by the wonder of this great thing called love
That it playfully kills all that I've worked so hard for- true love.
O our hearts can be so treacherous but only because the mind is filled with painful memories of hearts pangs.

In my mind I know what my heart needs but I'm too afraid to let my heart take the lead.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


I stand naked looking at my thick exterior
I touch my chest and can feel my interior...pounding
I can see the fullness in my hips, thighs and breast.
I touch myself with a sweet caress.

Inside I'm ill and feeling weak.
My face is tight and I'm feeling beat
As this sickness inside me invades my mind
And I look at my skin as it  transparently tells time.

I'm scared and vulnerable, exhausted and spent.
I'm wondering where my power and strength has went.
Five big letters changed my whole day
Made me break down and fall to my knees and pray.

My pride and joys are still perky and full
I hold them close and start to feel like a fool
As I remember how proud ive always been of my breast
But this right now is really the test

Faith and courage is what I need now
To fight this battle and rise somehow
Past the exterior and beauty that our bodies possess
To fulfill something better like just being blessed.

As I draw on Him and my circle for comfort
I feed on my interior and my creators design
To know that He's got me and not leading me blind.

I'm hopeful yet terrified, still alive thats true
I'm counting on Faith to make me whole and anew.
I look up to the heavens to feel life on my face
And I know that he's listening and extending his grace

Monday, April 15, 2013

Day 13- Me for Me (remastered)

Broken down and tired
Wondering what and where my future leads
I sit angry and cold
Lost and abandoned
Hurt and above all else

I can’t imagine why you can’t see
Why can’t you look at me and see
I am the woman you always wanted
I am the woman you always asked for
I am here. I’m Me.

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I stand tall
Knowing I’ve lost the war of having what my heart so desperately needs
I stand even though I feel weak to my knees

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I pray that one day you will see
I pray that one day I will know
I pray that one day I will heal
Nothing should hurt so bad
Love lost only to be found
And then lost again

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I can only be
Beautiful, open, genuine, sincere
Torn yet mended
Broken yet healing
Past pains
And past failures
And past choices
All in my past
And yet still haunting me

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I am all that I can be
I am offering you that plus more
My kids
My heart
My body
My future
My now

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I am the loyal friend
The trusted listener
The go getter
The child advocator
The lover- not the fighter
I am strong
I am intelligent
I am loving
I am sincere
But I’m not yours

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I realize that I grew up
I got bigger
But I am who I am and that is Me

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I love you with every ounce I can gather
I gasp for the same air as you
I nurture everything about you
I cater to your pleasures
I surrender to your touch
But it’s not enough
I’m not enough

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I am recklessly in love with you
Because you are what made me want to be more
You are the reason I kept believing
You are the reason I kept on wishing
You were the ultimate prize
And yet I’ve lost- again and again

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I’m in love, I admit it.
I’m selfish, I admit it.
I’m stubborn, I admit it.
I’m opinionated, I admit that too.
But I’m all of this for you.

Why can’t you take Me as I am?

I’ve made mistakes
And I’ve paid for them
I’ve hurt you before
I tried to repair your heart
I’ve been abused and misused
But my head is still high
I came through it all
To see what’s in your heart
Why can’t you see what’s in mine

Why can’t you take Me for who I am right now?

You know why you can’t see Me
Because you’re filled with the old me
And what the old me did
And what the old me lied about
How the old me cheated on you
How the old me walked away
How the old me married someone else
How the old me carried someone else’s child
How the old me used to love because I didn’t know back then what the new Me knows now

I know why You can’t take me for Me
Because You can’t take you for You
Because the old you can’t see the new Me
Its cock-blocking and throwing curve balls
And getting tangled in Your own webs
And fooling yourself like you did back then
And Your impatient with Who I am now
Because the old you hasn’t caught up with the new Me
And the new Me is looking for the old you
And the two of You and the two of Me
Can’t seem to come to one conclusion----

You can’t take Me for who I am
Because You’re too caught up
On who I was
That you can’t see You
Being happy with Me
Because the old you
Wants the new Me
But the new You
Can only see the old me
And we all can’t see forward to the future
…because you can’t love the New me
Because You’re too in love
With the old me
To fall in love with who you see-
Me.  Right Now. Me. Tomorrow. Me. Future. Me. Reality. Me.

© copyright 2012-09-07 20:05:15 - All Rights Reserved
© copyright 2013-04-15 11:51:30 - All Rights Reserved

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Day 12- Fly (unfinished)

Listening to the birds chirping
Wondering what their talking about 
As my mind is clouded with morbid thoughts of flying away forever

I can see the distance ahead 
As if my vision is suddenly clearer
But then I fall 
Breaking my spirit and the wings that keep me soaring

As I flutter to regain my mission 
I feel weak and worn down
My body aches 
As my mind tries to recall my escape route

It’s too dismal to see through the storm 
My inspiration to take flight and find a new home is slowly waning.

I don't want to fly anymore for fear I'll never want to land
I can hear the others calling for me but I turn away
Ready to turn in my wings and just lay here and pray
But something close by keeps calling for me but I look away
I don't want to hear anything
My flight has ended and I'm ready to give up.

I can hear the waters rushing by with a destination unknown 
And I want to ride the waves to a new home
But where might that be
Is it up north where I came from
Down south where I love
Or is it somewhere new east west to me totally different and free.

I try to spread my wings and gain control
But the fluttering inside my heart 
Won’t stop and it has me bound to this desolate place
Where no one wants to visit or see
They travel past just long enough to see me
Thrashing and squawking about, sinking in my own misery
And no one stops to save me or throw out nourishment for me.

I'm weak and I'm broken listening to the birds go by
Wishing I could soar above my broken spirit and fly...

© copyright 2013-04-15 11:38:24 - All Rights Reserved

Friday, April 12, 2013

Day 11 (from the archives)- Beautifully Me

Beautifully Me

Today I am feeling beautiful like a romantic sunset
I’m hopeful and looking forward to a new dawn
                As I come to terms with my heart’s desire
                And realize that my heart longs
                For not just a home to rest
                But a haven to hide from the insanity of life.
I’m feeling joyous at the prospect that life continues
                Even after heartache.
                And with true friends and loving family
                I’m renewed in the prospect
                Of finding heaven despite the pain.
I am hopeful that the tides of change
                Are here to embrace my dreams of a new beginning
                As I count my blessings and pray for forgiveness
                For I am not perfect but I am a good woman.
I am confident in my ability to be a good wife and mother
                Because my God had a plan for me
                To help and nurture those who are in need
                And give to those who are too proud to ask.
I am grateful for those who love me and those who tried to understand my inner self
                And supported me through my ups as well as my downs
                For I am a strong woman of grace and am powerful in many ways.
With faith I am assured that my life can and will begin again
                For I am forever evolving into the woman I know I am supposed to be
                And deserve to be for myself, my kids, and my soulmate- wherever they may be.
I am waiting patiently for the sun to shine its precious glory on me
                And show me the path to greatness
                For I am me and me is great
                And inside I feel the passion that bore me and the love that encompasses me.
I am wonderfully made and beautifully free.

© copyright 2012-07-20 14:04:20 - All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Day 10- Daughter Tells All

Daughter Tells All

In the back of my mind I'm willing to forgive
But something inside just won't give

You hurt me deeper than you'll ever know
And somehow I feel
you don't care to know so

The pain that I feel is oh so real
Its worn me down and ripped me apart
Made me stand back and protect my heart

It’s hard to tell if it's you or them
Because the hurt I feel is so deep within
See you took away something I'll never find completely again
My trust in the creation that God called men

Inside I'm broken
But outside I’m all whole
But that’s only because I refuse
to give this pain control

A daughter should never experience
what your child went through
Especially someone
that’s so supposed to
love, protect and guide you too 
But instead you taught worthlesness and miserable strife

See this demon I see that keeps following me
Is one I can't help but naturally see
My father, my king, and my aggressor too
Took my innocence and crushed my spirit too
Made me suffer the first betrayal from someone I loved
And no other one did I hold up above

There are bruises and scars
that you can still faintly see
And fear, loneliness and misery
continue to reside in me

I might be Broken and tattered
but still I'm strong, standing tall
A victim to survivor
I often rise and fall

Not questioning why
because it doesn't matter; your little girls gone
poor little girl that just seem can't seem to move on
Because in the back of her head there all just like you
Waiting to abuse her, hurt her and mislead her too

Pray for me sisters because this life makes you crawl
But at the end of the day Our Gods got it all
Broken and bruised but not destroyed.

© copyright 2013-04-11 04:07:01 - All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Day 9- Used to Be Us

Used to Be Us

That used to be us
smiling and laughing together
Unable to keep our hands off each other
Totally in love and one.

We used to make everyone blush 
at our constant teasing and touching
In tune with each other 
down to the last heartbeat.

Our love was magnetic and contagious 
They adored everything about us.
I used to not get enough of you
And with you is where I always wanted to be
In your arms. In your presence. Breathing only you.

I miss that kind of love
that would draw me wherever you were
The type of love 
that shortened the hours and days 
before I would see you again.

I miss those long conversations
and talking about nothing
Just hearing your voice
was enough for me sometimes.

I'm missing us and the way you made me feel
every time I saw you
Nothing could distract me
from the power you had over me.

I'm missing the smile on your face 
when you caught sight of me
And running into your arms
that always seemed to open up to me 
at just the right moment
Making me feel like 
the most gorgeous woman around
Kissing me so passionately
that I melted with the thought of later...

That used to be us
that made other couples question themselves
No one could deny the feelings we shared
We were obvious with what we had
Others couldn't even come close or compare.

We even looked good together
Lights seemed to follow us
as we took each step hand in hand.
Others gravitated to us
just to be in the awe of us.

Your tall, chocolate and handsome
beside my caramel thick frame
Showing off like we belong on a runway
Couple status was our performance
and we modeled it well.

Aw...I'm missing the attention you gave me 
It was all I needed to feel like your Queen.
I reigned with your love
and no one could take that from Us.

We used to be that couple
everyone wanted to be.
But most of all you were that other half
of the perfect couple with me.

I'm missing what we had
And what it meant to be yours
Above all others.
I'm missing Us. You and me.

© copyright 2013-04-10 00:01:00 - All Rights Reserved

Monday, April 8, 2013

Day 8- Missing My Angel

I'm missing my beautiful best friend
I'm remembering the sweetness of her words
And the long talks about anything and everything

I'm remember the last time I saw her gorgeous face and the way she smiled at me
With those radiant eyes of hers

I remember her voice saying I love you and promising to see me again soon
And the way she kissed my lips goodbye

I remember meeting her sweet boy and seeing how great a mother was
As I shared pictures of my babies
With the promise to introduce them all

I remember being so thankful to Him for giving me the opportunity to see her once again...
I had no idea it would be the last time.

I am missing everything about her especially the months and years we loss
But I'm so thankful that we never lost touch
With every day we missed we caught up quickly and made our friendship even stronger.

I'm missing the way she made me feel when I confided in her
Never judging me and always loving me for who I am
She was a true friend even in her absence

I wish I could talk to her now
Here her saying I love you baby in that sexy raspy voice of hers
And I wish I could just hold her again and run my fingers through her fiery red hair

I miss you my angel nikki
Missing and remembering everything about you
I love you

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Day 7- Daddy Why (finished)

Daddy why

That day is clear in the back of my head
I made a mistake that left me better off dead

Decision not made quick enough
You caught us now, time was up

He ran in fear and left me in shame
But no shame is deeper than the scar you made

Touching me, taunting me
You call that discipline?
Discipline skipped a little session
The session that made you scare me to tears
And forget who you were in one failed year

A year that cost me not just your little girl
But the innocence that comes from being your girl

Cause let you tell it, shame was the motive
But nothing could explain your silent votive
The votive that lit a burning inferno
Intentions were there but the reason was shallow
See I would have taken a beaten any day
Then the words that came from your mouth that you say

Teach me a lesson, so I dare to it again
But you just taught me how to use it again and again

Use my body for those that say
Those words you used to say everyday
I love you my dear, your daddy’s little girl
But little girl was lost when I saw who you were
Inside out, not the man that I thought
The man that was supposed to love me, or so they taught

Why daddy, did you say the thing that you said
Touch me the way you did made me sad
Sad for the loss I suffered that day
Not just my respect, but the love that one may
May see as we lay to show me they care
The only thing they care for is using me bare

Daddy why did you lean over me
Displaying yourself so
You may not went there but the bruises prove tho

Daddy why did you take it there
Cause I’m constantly wondering when…
When you will give me back that little girl
That love and respected her daddy back then

Daddy why did you hurt me
Worse than any other man
Daddy why didn’t you leave me
When you had the chance to

Teach me to respect myself and my body
Not flaunt it and use it and make myself money

Isn’t that love? My daddy taught me well.
O Father please take me from this private hell

Daddy I love you. You brought me into this world.
But please God forgive me for wishing you were dead
On those days that I look at my daughter and wonder
Is he thinking of her and then I ponder
Ponder what I would do if you ever hurt her that way
Your life would be over like you took mine that day

Daddy why

© copyright 2013-04-08 01:16:18 - All Rights Reserved

Day 6- You Need Her

You need a friend that will be there through thick and thin
Someone whose got your back even when they dont agree
A friend there to lean on and smile with

You need a woman who will stick by your side
Be there when your on top of the world
And sticks around when no one else would

You need a lover who will fulfill your fantasies
Fulfill you every desire and not afraid to be a freak in the sheets
And a woman you respect enough not to cheat

You need a queen that will support your dreams
Follow you to the ends of the earth
Ride with you in the middle of a war
And rule with you like the king you are

You need a  partner who will sign on the dotted line
Not afraid to take chances or scared to try new things
And advocates for what you believe in because she is fully invested in you

You need a wife who will cherish you forever
Love you even when you might not deserve it
Puts you and your children first
And loves God more than herself

You need a mother to your children
Who will nourish and raise your offspring
Protect and guide them and keep them safe from harm- even against you

You need to give a rib in sacrifice for the One
That Jah himself has chosen for only you
To respect as your better half
Your friend, woman, lover, queen, partner, wife, and mother of your children
For with her you have been truly been blessed and will reap the benefits of a love so devine
That no man will ever be able to separate
What God has put together- You and Her

Friday, April 5, 2013

Day 5- No Rebounds

With me their is no such thing as a rebound
Because everything I feel, every effort I exert, every emotion I express comes from deep within
And with each beat of my heart I can feel it pound

I say this because rebounds occur with your hopes and dreams stuck in your past
Your sights on the future have not yet been seen
But with me
I can see visions clearly and pristine

I can't look back anymore,
stay stuck in coulda, woulda, shouldas or force what’s not meant to be
But I don’t have to do that with you and me
Because what we have was real from the start
The convo. The flirting. The way you made me blush.
And when I could no longer see you, I longed for Your touch.

I didn’t think of Him and how he used to make me feel
I didn’t wonder why he didn’t make me feel this way anymore
I didn’t once feel guilty because part of me still wanted him 
I didn’t worry about if and when he might come back
I didn’t think of none of that

The only thing I could see was the possibilities and what was right before my eyes
I can feel Our chemistry and the fire between my thighs
Longing for only you and needing only you
Wanting only you
Who is he... Obviously not the man I needed him to be
If he was wouldn't he be here with me?

So fuck rebounds, I'm real and uncut.
I know what I want and I'm putting it out front.
I want to love hard and recklessly
Breathe uncontrollably
I want to sweat with the thought of running to you
I want to continuously become brand new with you
I want to transform to fit all you need
I just want to be in your air and be wanted by you
I want you to feel what you have when you look at me
I want you to understand what you mean to me
I want you to want me as much as I want you
And I want you to see a future with just us two

With me their is no rebound because I know what I want
I want my future, my forever
My someone to grow up with
My someone who loves me and adores me
That someone who forgives me because he knows I'm invested in us
Someone who I can laugh and cry with and not feel ashamed
Someone who loves my extra pounds and appreciates my curves

I just want to play this game with you
And rebound into life with you
My forever, my best friend, my everything.
No rebounds.

© copyright 2013-04-05 14:36:22 - All Rights Reserved

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Day 4- Seasonal


On a brisk winter morning
I can feel the heat of your body against my back
The warmth of your breathe heating my neck
And the firmness of your hand
Touching my private spot getting her wet.

On a spring afternoon
I can feel your hands in my hair
And your mouth against my lips
Slipping your tongue in my mouth playing
And I can feel it growing against my thigh longing for me.

In the simmering heat of a summer evening
I can feel your gems flowing inside me
Burning my insides like an inferno
With extreme pleasure
While the coolness of your tongue is licking my nipples
Making me moan and scream and wanting more
…its refreshing being with you.

As fall comes and night falls
I crave the moment we lay down together
Side by side enjoying the colorful essence of our lovemaking.
I'm loving you, lusting you, needing you, wanting only you
As we prepare for another round of sweet love and pure delight.

The weather is changing but our love is more intense
As our love grows and we dance in the glory of it all
Between the sheets ready for the seasons to change.