Wednesday, August 28, 2013

In The Moment

Feeling vulnerable

as I undress in front of you

opening up my soul

in hopes that you will save me from feeling this way


worried about my body

I reach for you

In hopes that you will free

This heartache and pain

Of not knowing where my diagnosis will take me

Feeling as if something is invading my body

Taking me out my comfort zone

Somewhere familiar

But someplace I never wanted to come back to


You hold my face in your hands

And you look at me with such sweetness

It melts my fears


If only for a few moments

In your arms I find comfort


A longing cured for if only

For a few moments


You hold me close

And our hearts fall into rhythm

My breasts are rising with each breath I take

But I'm scared to embrace them

Like I used to


They feel fragile in my hands now

My prized possessions

Suddenly under microscope

But you gently touch my skin

Kiss my neck

Tell me that everything is going to be okay

And you whisper in my ear that you care for me


I look in your eyes

And I can see genuine concern

If only for a few moments


I ask you to make love to me

And "act like you truly do"

And without hesitation you tell me

You always have


As I entrust you with my feelings

My emotions

My tears

My pains

My needing to have someone touch me

In places that I'm scared to touch myself

For fear I may fall apart

You take me in your arms

And lay me down gently kissing me tenderly

Reassuring me that you will always be here

And in those few moments

I believe everything will be okay

As long as I am in your arms

If only for a few moments


As we lay down together

Naked and exposed

Cradled safely in your arms

I can feel the warmth of your body

As it relaxes me

Taking all my stress away


You touch me gently, slowly

Taking your time

I'm feeling timid and not myself

Self-conscious of everything physical

Wanting to be explored but scared of losing control

In fear that something inside me may explode

And take me away before my time

But your hands caress my skin

Firm and sure

Reassuring and comforting

And your lips feel so warm

Against mine

And you take my breast in your hands

And hold them

Just hold them…

As my chest rises and falls

As I come in contact with the

Mass inside my ample bosom

I can feel it, lurking and feeding

When suddenly your lips meet mine

And your tongue shares the sweetness of your kiss

And you take hold

Of all that's ugly inside me

And let it go with the passion

Of your love and sincerity

Appreciating every inch of my body

Every crevice

Every space

Every sensitive spot

And you give me such divine pleasure

With each stroke of your hips

With each lunge of your pride

With each peak that we meet

And in a feverish minute

You turn me around and fill me up

Grabbing my breasts, pinching my nipples

And I can no longer feel any pain

But only Us


In a whirlwind of emotions

As you smack my ass, claim my pussy

Thrust inside me

Making me moan with such delight

That I can't help but laugh through tears

At the thought of losing this feeling

For even a brief moment


And when we climax together

You turn me around

Tasting the nectar of my temple

Not finished

Just getting started

As you go on the quest

To give me exactly what I need

Slow, sensual, lovemaking

Not only to my body

But to my mind, my heart, my universe

And then I see them

Your perfect chest

Your strong arms and your loving face

Looking down at me

Reassuring me that I will be okay

And you have always been here

To remind me that I am sexy

And beautiful

And lovely in every way

As our bodies come together

In a rhythm only the great jazz artists can relate to

Creating a melody so amazing that we have no choice

But to harmonize together


In those few moments

I regained my strength

To fight for what I admire the most about my body

And to embrace them and love them

And nurture and care for them

As you did

Surprisingly in your bad boy exterior (I'm blushing)


In those few sweet moments

I saw something in you

I had never seen before

And I needed it

You fulfilled my wishes

You transferred your hope

And renewed my faith

In those few sweet moments

I became a Survivor yet again…





Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Love Through Fear

Stuck in the past
Scared to move forward
Feeling emotions we try to not to show
But our heart is longing for love

Torn by broken dreams
Haunted by our past
We move forward alone
But the loneliness won't let us suffer for long
Hoping for our hearts to mend

Wishing for a sign
Praying we can see through
The signs are blurry
Yet our heart seeks for what it can't live without

Wanting to find peace
In a world full of deceit, pain, and destruction
Grasping for loves embrace
To protect and guard our heart

Missing having someone to call our own
But scared to find out
Fear getting in the way of true happiness
Blocking our hearts blessing

Needing to be loved through the pain
Yet too broken to pick up the pieces
Pushing away what our mind wants
Denying our hearts needs

Wanting to be loved
But forgetting how to give it
Because we are too scared to just let love do what it does
Heal, restore, and trust.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


My babies are starting Kindergarten on the 27th and I am nervous. Big school! Big kids! New experiences. I need to get prepared. Being a single mom is not easy and I know that my ME time is going to be revolved around them with all the activities I hope to get them into! I am excited. I half to make up for 2 other parents but I got this!



Feelings resulting from being betrayed
by someone you love.
Someone who claimed to love you in return
But threw you to the savages instead.
Worse than any abuse.
Worse than any rape.
Worse than any other stab a stranger can inflict.
Betrayal caused by lies.
Cover ups and fuckery.
All consuming and powerful.
Betrayal of the worst kind
Coming from someone you trusted your life with
and would have given yours for.
All for what?
To make themselves look good,
To seem blameless,
Being far from it.
Karma is a mothafucker
And betrayal is an Art.
Paid for by the souls
of those caught unaware,
and unprotected
leaving those in its path
more broken than the eyes can see
Or ears can hear
Or hearts can bear.
Betrayal of the worst kind
By someone who promised
never to leave or let anyone destroy what you had.
Loving you like never before
Yet hurting you to heights so unimaginable
Kind of like my father.
You can't breathe from the hit you take to the chest.
Betrayal of the worst kind from a friend, partner, confidante.
Exposing you wide open
To the ugliness of trusting someone so much
That you fear trusting yourself again
Making it worse
when that betrayal hurts those dearest to your heart
like your legacy.
Betrayal of the worst kind
Mixed with your own guilt
of wrongs never forgiven
Always thrown in your face
Told second hand to people
who rather jump on the band wagon
without fully knowing the facts
Accomplices to the betrayal
Imprisoned by blindness
or maybe just the environment they thrive in. Betrayal.
Betrayal of the worst kind sucking life out of you
At a time where life is what you’re fighting for.
Remnants of betrayal of the worst kind.