I can't sleep
My mind is racing
Trying to find answers to questions only you can reply to
Why me
Why us
Why was I not enough
What happened to happily ever after
Was it the openness
The weight gain
The pain I endure on a regular
Or was it something else
Was it you
The age difference
The lack of male role models
Or is just an addiction
I tried to forgive
I tried giving options
I tried to save face
I tried everything but give up
It was still not enough
We were still not enough
I'm restless
Torn between still being in love with you
And...
Wanting to let go
I know I deserve better
I know I was a good wife
I know I did my best
But it still wasn't enough
I'm delirious
I can't sleep
My mind won't rest
I'm dumbfounded
Was I not sexing you enough
Loving you enough
Not there for you
Or was it just karma laughing at me
Naw... I've paid for my mistakes twice over
So then what's keeping me from closing my eyes and finding some peace
It's you
Craving you in my bed
Missing you during the day
Wanting to kiss your lips i love so much
But I can't
All I see is them
All I feel is your hands on foreign thighs
All I smell is lust and sweat
I can't sleep
Your haunting my mind and my heart
Yet I still love you
Though your my nightmare
