Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Poem- Ghost in the Night

I saw a ghost last night clever and wicked.
He stole my soul and tore at my walls
Taking with him my dignity and respect.
I saw a ghost lingering in the shadows
Waiting and laying around like a snake in the bush
Sneaky and still.
I saw a ghost glance at me from behind smoke
Black soot that found a home in my chest
Engulfing me in flames and tearing at my peace.
I saw a ghost pass me with such creepiness
That everything around it moved out the way scared and frightened.
It stopped and held me at a distance
But tore my inside out like a thief in the light.
He was treacherous and unbiased.
He took me by surprise and became real all over again.
I saw a ghost ugly and sure of himself
Waiting for the chance to snag at my throat
I ran sheepishly in the night and took solace under my sheets
Waiting for him to appear
Restless and alone. Fearful and unsure.
I saw a ghost and the ghost saw me.
He is fearless and powerful over everyone he comes in contact with.
He is close but so far.
Its an eerie silence and a crazy sense of being
Terrified and motionless I cower and pray
Waiting for a sign he is gone
Waiting for the smoke to go away.
I saw a ghost and he captured my pride and took it to thrash away at.
I jolted and took flight as the ghost saw me.
Saw me and winked.
Saw me and joked.
Saw me and came closer.
Teasing and retched with the stinch of a devil.
I saw a ghost and I ran.
Ran for safety and assurance and found
Some comfort in the locks and the chains
Surrounded by enclosures of sanity.
I saw a ghost and I ran.
Ran far away and called for the saints to whisk him away
And jail him for a lifetime
For hurting me and causing me pain.
I saw a ghost and then he was gone
Gone but not for good.
I saw a ghost.
I saw a ghost.

© copyright 2012-07-24 12:56:25 - All Rights Reserved

Monday, July 23, 2012

In my heart...

Over the weekend my love was hospitalized because of his heart. I imagine that his heart is in turmoil because him and I can't seem to get it right.
In my heart I know he is the ONE but for some reason I can't seem to convince him of that despite my many attempts at proving it. Maybe, we aren't meant to be after all.
But in my heart of hearts I can't stop longing, wishing, dreaming and waiting for him to come around.
I've done everything possible outside of going to him and begging him on hands and knees but why should I have to go to that extent? If he really wanted me, wouldn't he come willingly?
So that's where I lay in wait now...To see if he will come willingly... How long can I wait? My heart will determine that if my mind doesn't take over first.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Poem- Beautifully Me

Today I am feeling beautiful like a romantic sunset
I’m hopeful and looking forward to a new dawn
                As I come to terms with my heart’s desire
                And realize that my heart longs
                For not just a home to rest
                But a haven to hide from the insanity of life.
I’m feeling joyous at the prospect that life continues
                Even after heartache.
                And with true friends and loving family
                I’m renewed in the prospect
                Of finding heaven despite the pain.
I am hopeful that the tides of change
                Are here to embrace my dreams of a new beginning
                As I count my blessings and pray for forgiveness
                For I am not perfect but I am a good woman.
I am confident in my ability to be a good wife and mother
                Because my God had a plan for me
                To help and nurture those who are in need
                And give to those who are too proud to ask.
I am grateful for those who love me and those who tried to understand my inner self
                And supported me through my ups as well as my downs
                For I am a strong woman of grace and am powerful in many ways.
With faith I am assured that my life can and will begin again
                For I am forever evolving into the woman I know I am supposed to be
                And deserve to be for myself, my kids, and my soulmate- wherever they may be.
I am waiting patiently for the sun to shine its precious glory on me
                And show me the path to greatness
                For I am me and me is great
                And inside I feel the passion that bore me and the love that encompasses me.
I am wonderfully made and beautifully free.

© copyright 2012-07-20 14:04:20 - All Rights Reserved

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Feeling great this morning!

I woke up feeling great and amazingly sexy this morning! When your mind is clear and your conscious is satisfied, it makes your day brighten up like a ray of sunshine!
I am feeling confident and sure about a few life changing decisions and I am okay with it even if it doesn't go the way I planned it. 

When was the last time You woke up and knew that everything was going to be alright despite your feeling of desperation and sorrow?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Poem- Sea of Uncertainty

Drowning in a sea of sorrow
Reaching out to emptiness

I’m crying for help
But their falling into waves of darkness.

Spinning in circles in a funnel of emotions
Trying not to drown in what seems like an ever ending storm

The waves are beating me senseless
Yet I can feel everything deep within me

I am gasping for air consumed with worry, doubt and fear
Scared of what may be the end of my life
Praying for relief to come
And save me from sinking into oblivion

Loyalty, passion and love don’t help in this tornado of inner destruction
It seems inevitable but yet who I am gives me the strength to survive

I’m still alive and floating motionless
I’m dreaming of an escape and feel myself getting stronger and stronger
Not knowing why
but understanding it’s necessary.

I deserve to live.
I deserve to have all I’ve earned and yearned to have.
I’m still young. I still have dreams to fulfill and my kids to raise.
O God… I need to be free of this pain and suffering that has engulfed me and left me soaking in misery.

My legs begin to find some resources deep within my broken walls
My arms reach up and my hands test the waters around me

I am not drowning.
I have amazingly drifted closer to reality
And I can see something familiar

An island of destiny appears and
the sun is caressing my face and awakening all that exists inside me.
I can get closer if I just use what God gave me.

I have a powerful innate sense of fight
and I can find peace as I bring myself upright in white sands
Feeling my existence again for the first time.

I’m alive and safe and have survived
Yet again.
My license to sink has been swept away
The waters have calmed and I can see the horizon of hope.

I praise Him for yet another day to feel something
Versus an abyss of doubt and despair.
I’m alive and free to be me
surrounded by a sea of uncertainties…

© copyright 2012-06-29 13:41:38 UTC - All Rights Reserved

Monday, July 16, 2012

A lot on my mind.

This weekend was full of surprises and gave me a lot to think about. It also made me appreciate the true value of a life long friendship that turned into a deep everlasting love. I'm not sad any more. I just want what's best for everyone involved. I'[m optimistic but careful. I'm looking forward to the rest of the day but I'm nervous. 
Life throws so many curve balls but for the first time I think I can catch anyone that comes my way. I'm proud of where my heart is right now and I know that everything is going to be okay either way. I have my moments of lovesick insanity but who doesn't. Its a new week!

How was your weekend and what did you learn about yourself?

Friday, July 13, 2012



We are at a crossroads
Walking around in mindless circles.
Our paths cross but in traffic
We lose sight of our destination.

We are at a deadend
                With no direction or map to our future.
We are close yet so distant.
Our fears and expectations
                Are ahead of us
But we can’t seem
                To see past the horizon.

We are lost and stagnant
                Comfortable on a road that has no end.
It keeps going on and on
                To a path of uncertainty.

We are at a crossroads
                Safely looking both ways.
Do we cross or do we choose a different route?

Which way does the road to the left lead?
Which way does the right road take us?

We get on an interchange of emotions
                Searching for a sign that points us to our ultimate happiness
But inside our insecurity
                Has us on a chase for a highway
                Of hills, bumps and U-turns.

We are at the crossroads
                Looking for left to right.
We choose what
                Our instincts guide us to
                And find that the right way
                Is the way that makes sense
While realizing that going left
                Is a choice. A guess. An alternate choice.
We can bypass it or take the freeway.

There is always going to be roads we have to cross
We go right.
We go left.
We turn around.
We go back to visit again.
Life is a path we take blessfully.
Roads lead us there.

© copyright 2012-07-13 13:19:44 UTC - All Rights Reserved

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Poem- ABC's of Love

When you are afraid of love, sometimes you push love away.
When you are bashful of love, sometimes you tend to shy away from it.
When you are concentrating on love, sometimes you miss opportunities.
When you are dogging love, sometimes it bites you in the ass before you even realize what it is.
When you are earning love, sometimes you fall short of reality.
When you are fearful of love, sometimes your mind doesn't want it but your heart yearns for it.
When you are giving love, sometimes you don’t give your all.
When you are hurt by love, sometimes you take the pain out on the one who is loving you.
When you are ignoring love, sometimes you can't help but look in the oddest places for it.
When you are juggling love, sometimes the one you really want rolls away.
When you are kissing the one you love, your heart skips a beat no one else can repeat.
When you are looking for love, sometimes it doesn't come in the form you were searching for.
When you are measuring love, sometimes you realize that you've had your fill or maybe not enough.
When you are nursing love, sometimes the lifeline is way too short.
When you are obviously in love, sometimes you want to scream and tell everyone but then sometimes you hide it and cherish it for yourself.
When you are pretending love, sometimes you find out that you really are in love.
When you are questioning love, sometimes all the answers are right in front of you.
When you are reasoning on love, sometimes your thought process starts because the reason is clear.
When you are sick of love, sometimes the ache in your stomach is a sign that love really needs to exist.
When you are true to love, sometimes you finally get what you deserve.
When you are understanding of love, sometimes you learn something about yourself and your partner that is beneficial.
When you are victorious in love, sometimes your victory is better than the fight to get there!
When you are worrying about love, sometimes the effort pays off!
When you are Xeroxing love, sometimes the copies aren’t quite good enough.
When you are yearning love, sometimes being patient is your only chose.
When you are zealous about love, you always come out a winner!

© copyright 2012-07-12 13:22:39 UTC - All Rights Reserved