Sunshines Spot: Poem- Sea of Uncertainty

Drowning in a sea of sorrow

Reaching out to emptiness

I’m crying for help

But their falling into waves of darkness.

Spinning in circles in a funnel of emotions

Trying not to drown in what seems like an ever ending storm

The waves are beating me senseless

Yet I can feel everything deep within me

I am gasping for air consumed with worry, doubt and fear

Scared of what may be the end of my life

Praying for relief to come

And save me from sinking into oblivion

Loyalty, passion and love don’t help in this tornado of inner destruction

It seems inevitable but yet who I am gives me the strength to survive

I’m still alive and floating motionless

I’m dreaming of an escape and feel myself getting stronger and stronger

Not knowing why

but understanding it’s necessary.

I deserve to live.

I deserve to have all I’ve earned and yearned to have.

I’m still young. I still have dreams to fulfill and my kids to raise.

O God… I need to be free of this pain and suffering that has engulfed me and left me soaking in misery.

My legs begin to find some resources deep within my broken walls

My arms reach up and my hands test the waters around me

I am not drowning.

I have amazingly drifted closer to reality

And I can see something familiar

An island of destiny appears and

the sun is caressing my face and awakening all that exists inside me.

I can get closer if I just use what God gave me.

I have a powerful innate sense of fight

and I can find peace as I bring myself upright in white sands

Feeling my existence again for the first time.

I’m alive and safe and have survived

Yet again.

My license to sink has been swept away

The waters have calmed and I can see the horizon of hope.

I praise Him for yet another day to feel something

Versus an abyss of doubt and despair.

I’m alive and free to be me

surrounded by a sea of uncertainties…

Sunshines Spot