Drowning in a sea of sorrow
Reaching out to emptiness
I’m crying for help
But their falling into waves of darkness.
Spinning in circles in a funnel of emotions
Trying not to drown in what seems like an ever ending storm
The waves are beating me senseless
Yet I can feel everything deep within me
I am gasping for air consumed with worry, doubt and fear
Scared of what may be the end of my life
Praying for relief to come
And save me from sinking into oblivion
Loyalty, passion and love don’t help in this tornado of inner destruction
It seems inevitable but yet who I am gives me the strength to survive
I’m still alive and floating motionless
I’m dreaming of an escape and feel myself getting stronger and stronger
Not knowing why
but understanding it’s necessary.
I deserve to live.
I deserve to have all I’ve earned and yearned to have.
I’m still young. I still have dreams to fulfill and my kids to raise.
O God… I need to be free of this pain and suffering that has engulfed me and left me soaking in misery.
My legs begin to find some resources deep within my broken walls
My arms reach up and my hands test the waters around me
I am not drowning.
I have amazingly drifted closer to reality
And I can see something familiar
An island of destiny appears and
the sun is caressing my face and awakening all that exists inside me.
I can get closer if I just use what God gave me.
I have a powerful innate sense of fight
and I can find peace as I bring myself upright in white sands
Feeling my existence again for the first time.
I’m alive and safe and have survived
My license to sink has been swept away
The waters have calmed and I can see the horizon of hope.
I praise Him for yet another day to feel something
Versus an abyss of doubt and despair.
I’m alive and free to be me
surrounded by a sea of uncertainties…
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