Exterior

I stand naked looking at my thick exterior
I touch my chest and can feel my interior...pounding
I can see the fullness in my hips, thighs and breast.
I touch myself with a sweet caress.

Inside I'm ill and feeling weak.
My face is tight and I'm feeling beat
As this sickness inside me invades my mind
And I look at my skin as it  transparently tells time.

I'm scared and vulnerable, exhausted and spent.
I'm wondering where my power and strength has went.
Five big letters changed my whole day
Made me break down and fall to my knees and pray.

My pride and joys are still perky and full
I hold them close and start to feel like a fool
As I remember how proud ive always been of my breast
But this right now is really the test

Faith and courage is what I need now
To fight this battle and rise somehow
Past the exterior and beauty that our bodies possess
To fulfill something better like just being blessed.

As I draw on Him and my circle for comfort
I feed on my interior and my creators design
To know that He's got me and not leading me blind.

I'm hopeful yet terrified, still alive thats true
I'm counting on Faith to make me whole and anew.
I look up to the heavens to feel life on my face
And I know that he's listening and extending his grace