Beastly

Trying to understand
The reason behind it all
The lies. Deception. Blatant disrespect.
Not wanting to see the truth.

Remembering all we had
Knowing all we said
Feeling all that made it real
Not able to see it clearly

Loving someone that never loved you
Wondering if any of it was real
Unable to breathe
Can't eat
Totally consumed with utter disbelief

Trying to grasp what it could have been
Only to admit you should have taken heed
To all the warnings and the signs
The claims that proved they could never be yours

Only to give them an excuse they would take
To hurt you
Abandon you
And give reason to partake
In foolery for something
Not equal to the mistake you made

Wishing you could go back
Run away from what you knew would go nowhere
Only to bask in the glory of your affection
Even if it means falling victim again
Stupid, naive, foolish, caught unaware

Giving your all
Getting less then half in return
Only to be shot down
Diminished
For a moment of recklessness
Not looking like it seemed
Totally devoted to the thought of only wanting them

Hating yourself for falling
For someone who was off limits
Waiting for the opportunity to flee
Willing to do anything
To prevent the inevitable
Walking on broken glass

Only to be broken in half
By someone who is not even whole
Undeserving of what you offer
Yet you thought maybe your love
Would be different
Healing
Powerful

Only to find out that
All your efforts
Your waiting
Your tears
Meant nothing to the beast
That can not feel

The monster inside
That refuses to see the beauty before him
Just how real
It can be to love unconditionally
Because they can only
See the pain inside of them
While using others

The beast disguises
The beauty of all we had
As he runs
Fleeing from something
You wanted to give
But they could not grasp
Loving some-thing
Not capable of loving you

Trying to understand
What is there deep inside of you
Lost, hurt and abused.