Saturday, March 15, 2014

More Time

Feeling surreal
Thinking about the pending loss
Of a person I've adored
Since before I breathed life

Looking into his eyes
I see strength and fear
While on the outside I see a man tired and frail

I watch him as he moves slowly
Calculating every step
Weary with each step he takes
In pain, aching
Trying not to give up
But wishing for it to end

I can't help but feel sorrow
Watching my once stubborn father
Dwindling away right before my eyes
Seeing the worry in his eyes
As he smiles at my mother

Trying to be strong
I offer my help
Making an excuse to hold his hand
Care and embrace him

Feelings unresolved
I try to let go of the past
The scandals left in the darkness
As I silently pray for his well being
Forgiving him for all he did to me as an impressionable child

I see him
Slowly slipping away
Trying to hold on for my mother
My babies he loves so much

As I fight within me to love him even more
As I watch him lose weight
Inch by inch
Becoming less than himself
Losing a part of me that was gone for so long

Daddys girl
My protector
My handsome father
I love so much

Trying not to miss him
But seeing him like this
Makes me lose touch
With reality of knowing
That time may not be
On our side

But all I can pray for
Is just for blessings
To be mine
As I watch my dear father
And pray for more time

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