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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Could Possibly Still Be

I give up
Broken
Hurt
Confused
Trying to grasp for straws
Make him understand
Losing patience
Lost control
Couldn't understand why he couldn't see
Couldn't understand how deep my love could be

Wanting to give it all
To someone who could not see
How deep and intense this love could really be

Trying to school me
But lost in his own lessons
I'm trying
Drowning in anguish
Crying for more
Wishing I could make him see
While I'm drowning waiting for this love that could be

Preaching to me
But still a student himself
Letting others persuade
Casting doubt
Wanting a lifestyle better than us
Not realizing my life rested with us

Scared
Emotional
Can hardly breath
Wanting nothing more than what could possibly be

Pride and fear
A horrible combination
Mixed with greed and selfishness
Two deadly persuasions
I'm left to drown
Can't catch myself
Looking up for my him to catch me
But see him over there fishing
Already for something small
In replace of me
So quickly dismissed of what could possibly be

Can't take no more
My heart is broken
Never to want to feel such emotions
Wishing it away
But knowing it will never be
Because I fell in love with what he made me trust it could be

Fighting alone
Wanting a future more than just this
Asking for more than just what's on the surface
Did he lie when he said I only love you
Or did he lie when he said I want my future with you
Or did he lie when he said it's just me against them
Or did he lie when he said I want you to be my wife

In the end
It couldn't possibly be what I thought it was for me
Because I'm crushed and mourning
While your laughing and lusting
Disrespecting and cussing
Taking all of my love with you where it can't possibly be

Broken promises
Sweet nothing's
Tomorrow gone just like that
For speaking up for what I needed
To step reluctantly in your shoes
Cost me everything I thought it could be
A way for him to finally see
That my love for him is endless
Desperate and ravenous
Punishable by default
Submissive if needed
Unconditional and long suffering
Yet one moment of reality
Made him open up his eyes
And feel what made me so angry
Enough to retaliate with injustice
Tearing my heart to pieces
Losing what I thought could possibly be
The greatest love I ever felt yet...

To be continued...

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