My blame

Floating around
Pacing back and forth
Unsure of what to do next

Stuck in oblivion
Afraid to go forward
Worried I won't be able to pick up the pieces
Scared I won't want to mend my broken heart

Easier to let go
Then be hurt anymore
Can't stop the pain
Wanting to just give up
Not knowing what the future holds

Grasping for air
Between tears and screams
Not knowing why
Or understanding how to get pass this

Heartache
Headache
Pain
Disappointment
Fear
Disillusioned
Pissed for trusting someone
The last One with my heart

Can't sleep
Can't see
Can't hear

Waiting for his call
Checking my phone for his text
Wondering if I'm the only one whose hurting and wanting things to be better
Different
Us

Watching him go on
Like its nothing
Happy
Blessed
Encouraged
Forgetting all about me
In an instant

Questioning everything he said
I wonder if he meant any of the words spoken
Any of the sweetness he barely uttered
Any of the promises
Any of the plans I looked forward to

Looking back
Knowing I'm missing something
Not registering
Just pacing back and forth
Feeling foolish by myself
Wanting it all to be over

I don't understand
As the tears begin to fall again
I'm slipping away
Inside myself
Wishing it all to be
A lonely nightmare

I'm floating
Vanishing
Never to be seen again
Not wanting to want or love again
Gone
Blaming me for loving again