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Friday, September 7, 2012

Me or Me


Broken down and tired
Wondering what and where my future leads
I sit angry and cold
Lost and abandoned
Hurt and above all else
disappointed

I can’t imagine why you can’t see
Why can’t you look at me and see
I am the woman you always wanted
I am the woman you always asked for
I am here

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I stand tall
Knowing I’ve lost the war of having what my heart so desperately needs
I stand even though I feel weak to my knees
Defeated
Spent
Done

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I pray that one day you will see
I pray that one day I will know
I pray that one day I will heal
Nothing should hurt so bad
Love lost only to be found
And then lost again

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I can only be
Beautiful, open, genuine, sincere
Torn yet mended
Broken yet healing
Past pains
And past failures
And past choices
All in my past
And yet still haunting me

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I am all that I can be
I am offering you that plus more
My kids
My heart
My body
My future
My now

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I am the loyal friend
The trusted listener
The go getter
The child advocator
The lover- not the fighter
I am strong
I am intelligent
I am loving
I am sincere
But I’m not yours

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I realize that I grew up
I got bigger
Thicker
Sexier
Older
But I am who I am and that is me

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I love you with every ounce I can gather
I gasp for the same air as you
I nurture everything about you
I cater to your pleasures
I surrender to your touch
But it’s not enough
I’m not enough

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I am recklessly in love with you
Because you are what made me want to be more
You are the reason I kept believing
You are the reason I kept on wishing
You were the ultimate prize
And yet I’ve lost- again and again
Miserably…

Why can’t you take me as I am?

I’m in love, I admit it.
I’m selfish, I admit it.
I’m stubborn, I admit it.
I’m opinionated, I admit that too.
But I’m all of this for you.

Why can’t you take me as I am?
I’ve made mistakes
And I’ve paid for them
I’ve hurt you before
I tried to repair your heart
I’ve been abused and misused
But my head is still high
I came through it all
To see what’s in your heart
Why can’t you see what’s in mine

Why can’t you take me for who I am?

You know why you can’t see Me
Because you’re filled with the old me
And what the old me did
And what the old me lied about
How the old me cheated on you
How the old me walked away
How the old me married someone else
How the old me carried someone else’s child
How the old me used to love because I didn’t know back then what the new Me knows now

I know why You can’t take me for Me
Because You can’t take you for You
Because the old you can’t see the new Me
Its cock-blocking and throwing curve balls
And getting tangled in Your own webs
And fooling yourSelf like you did back then
And Your impatient with Who I am now
Because the old you hasn’t caught up with the new Me
And the new Me is looking for the old you
And the two of You and the two of Me
Can’t seem to come to one conclusion----
US!

You can’t take Me for who I am
Because You’re too caught up
On who I was
That you can’t see You
Being happy with Me
Because the old you
Wants the new Me
But the new You
Can only see the old me
And we all can’t see forward to the future
…because you can’t love the New me
Unconditionally…
Because You’re too in love
With the old me
To fall in love with who you see-
Me.  Right Now. Me. Tomorrow. Me. Future. Me. Reality. Me.



© copyright 2012-09-07 20:05:15 - All Rights Reserved

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