Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Dear Diary- Supportive Friends

So I have been leaning on my friends for emotional support through my breakup with my fiance and they are all being really positive. 
I am feeling inadequate and I am questioning myself because I tried so hard to make that relationship work and I put a lot of faith in the love. I thought I showed that to him in more ways than one but it wasn't enough.
What did I do wrong?
Did I not communicate well enough?
Was I sexually not enough?
Am I losing my skills?
Am I not attractive enough?
What could I have done better?
Why can't I let go?
What was I missing?
What did she have that I don't have?
What is about me that made him not want me anymore?

So many questions going through my head that I have a headache and I can't focus at times.
Most say "if its meant to be you two will get through this too, if you forgive him for the hurt he has caused you and vice versa but you both have to let go of the past and move forward."  I would have loved to have done that...possibly date again, get to know each other again, go to counseling, anything to make this work but it didn't happen, hasn't happened, and he is gone.

Some say "it wasn't going to last because their were too many trust issues" but I can't agree with that totally because I trusted him UP UNTIL NOW and his lack of trust was based on miscommunication and too many people in our business.

I've always been a confident woman, but right now I am not confident at all... time to re-evaluate myself and my thinking.

I know I am at a point in my life that I want to get married so I'm going to chill for now and work on me-again (because I thought I was already the total package) and wait for my King to love me for me and want me to be his Queen.

1 comment:

  1. No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry. Stay Strong Beautiful, I love you...