I truly feel that Jehovah did not protect me and guide me this far to be the beautiful woman I am today to leave me lonely for the rest of my life. Even though one man has my heart right now, I pray that he is happy since I obviously was not the ONE like I thought I was to him. He was the One I had been praying and dreaming about the last 10 years and so I know that there was a purpose for him being in my life. I just haven't figured out what that is yet...Maybe to fine tune the kinks I still had left to work out or maybe to teach me that their is no future in the past.
I often wondered why people say they don't go backwards, now I know...but I don't completely.
I have a lot to offer:
1. I'm a great mother to my kids and would be to other's children.
2. I'm educated.
3. I'm a loyal friend.
4. I can be sexy when I want to be.
5. I'm not materialistic.
6. I know how to let a man be a man and be his partner.
7. I know how to communicate my feelings.
8. I'm a good lover (wink*).
9. I have goals and I achieve most if not all of my goals I set for myself.
10. I'm over my past and ready to move forward to be the woman I have worked so hard to be- not just for my future mate, but for my kids and most of all Me.
I so wanted to end this pain and misery I seem to keep running into but this heart break right here is different because I truly was 100% in love for the FIRST time. I gave it more effort than any other relationship. I learned a few lessons though:
1. Some friendships need to take a backseat for your relationship to survive.
2. Demand respect.
3. Don't settle for less.
4. Always stay true to yourself and don't lose yourself in the other person.
5. If you know that you are doing your best, don't let your mate or anyone else tell you or make you feel differently.
6. If someone accuses you of something you KNOW you aren't doing, best believe they are doing it to you.
7. Keep trying until you can't take no more (without abuse).
8. Never give up on the power of love.
9. Put God first in every relationship.
10. Do not give your friends full access to your mate- recipe for disaster (even if unintentional).
11. Lastly, forgive. God forgives us for our sins all the time. We are imperfect and we all make mistakes.
So to Him, he knows who he is, I forgive you for hurting me. I will love you forever and I truly hope your happy- even if not with me.