Monday, December 17, 2012

Dear Diary- The Blame Game

Unfortunately, I learned as a child that people will blame you and divert responsibility to avoid their own actions and view of themselves.  Ever since then, I have always hated the "blame game." I can own up to my own failures, faults, and wrongdoings, but I can't and won't ever take responsibility for someone else's, no matter how much I love them.
When you have people that you love and trust who you expose your innermost self to and they still can't do so in return, it starts to become a mute point, useless and eventually painstaking but yet, we will find a place to forgive them of their wrongs and we try to move on- with them. But to what degree do we keep letting them get away with blaming you when they fail to look in the mirror at themselves?

Scenario: I needed to talk to someone I love more than anything about my fears and my insecurities. My fears and insecurities could have been rectified if the person I was talking to would have listened and helped me with those fears and insecurities...That was what I was looking for anyway... But it turned into something completely off the subject- Me and turned into the blame game, which had nothing to do with my feelings but it had everything to do with theirs. My feelings were never addressed and at the end it was clear. They have their own fears and insecurities which won't allow them to do what I was scared to do but yet it was made to seem as if I was the reason for their own wrong. What started off as a call for help turned into an ugly misguided point of fingers. And the funny things is they don't get where they were wrong in the whole situation and discarded me and my feelings but yet I bet I'm the only one feeling the loss, anger, and disappointment.

The point: No matter how honest you can be with yourself and others and no matter how much of the true blame you can take for a situation, if the other person is not willing to look in the mirror at themselves and see that they need to take the blame for something and responsibility for the results of their actions, the blame game will continue unless...Unless someone decides that the game is over. For me I can't keep taking the beating of being blamed for everything and I won't allow someone to keep making me the subject of the blame game- no matter how much I love them. You shouldn't either.

It all comes down to this: Look in the mirror before you stand behind anothers.

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